I know you think it's funny
to change all of my clothes with smaller ones
so that they don't fit when I try them on
and I think that it's me who's getting fatter
when it's really you being all tricky.
So I'd appreciate
if you put all of my actual clothes
back in the closet
so I can wear something other than skirts
hiked up to my boobs (because they don't fit around my waist)
and people will stop thinking
I'm secretly a fundie
who doesn't believe in trousers.
How The Hell Did This Happen? by P.J. O'Rourke
2 hours ago