tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12658930.post114002776567609146..comments2023-10-28T05:29:07.535-06:00Comments on Windmill Watching: Things of the worldSWILUAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14676123927004595983noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12658930.post-1140726021155939062006-02-23T13:20:00.000-07:002006-02-23T13:20:00.000-07:00Not so much deep as despondent, I think. My life ...Not so much deep as despondent, I think. My life is so freaking boring and there's just hour after hour of NOTHING to do in it. Part of that is dang biology. (Whoever thought that making women the only pregnant people was a good idea?) But another part is sort of the despair that there will never be anything else. I guess the "things of the world" come in because I want to believe that there can be more to my life than staring at my baby all day. The kid is cute, sure, but he's going to move out someday and I want to *do* something in the meantime. And is that a worldy desire? Because most of the things I can *do* end up having some sort of worldy component in them. A lot of this thought process was spurred off when Steve's friend won that Newbury (see next post). Because now she gets to take her toddler to book signings and go visit elementary schools and stuff. I guess I'm a little jealous of the fact that her life gets to be *interesting* now. And because she won the Newbury, it gets to be that way her *entire* life. But if I were to want something like that, isn't that worldly? Awards are worldly. The sacks of cash she'll be making are worldly. (I also wouldn't mind a sudden influx of $800,000--I found a house in the mountains I'd love to buy because it's SO *peaceful* there. But it costs $800,000. The peace part isn't worldly, maybe, but the fact that you have to pay $800,000 for it is.) But I don't think I'm too jealous of the award itself, per se. I'm jealous that she gets to not only *know* her life is meaningful, it gets to *feel* meaningful to her. I know that raising my baby is meaningful, but it doesn't always *feel* meaningful. It's kind of dull, actually. And I don't know how much more of it I can take. But I also don't feel like I have the power to get myself out of it. God has the power, maybe. If I wanted to go work at an office somewhere I'd have the power. But I don't want to work in an office. I'd rather do something like win a Newbury. Hence the whole trauma about "worldlines." :-)SWILUAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14676123927004595983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12658930.post-1140211970698247512006-02-17T14:32:00.000-07:002006-02-17T14:32:00.000-07:00I usually just think of the "things of the world" ...I usually just think of the "things of the world" as earthly possessions and I don't even think those are bad. Maybe they shouldn't be our main focus or #1 goal. The education, knowledge, doing a good job, having others respect and love, etc. are things I think we should be striving for. Those are things that will continue on.<BR/><BR/>I don't know K. You're a deep one.heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06810554478622955312noreply@blogger.com