Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Stuff students are *willing* to do for an extension on a paper

Just got this proposal emailed to me. In exchange for turning in a paper late, this student is willing to let me chose one item from the list for them to do:


Walk around all day with a pen mark on my face
Sing “Popular” for class with cookies
Talk in pig-Latin all day—even though I don’t know how
Pretend to pick some gum out of a random girl’s hair
Wear a Harry Potter scar on my forehead
Read my most embarrassing journal entry (about boogers) to the class (with cookies)
Actually be to class on time---in one of your classes next semester. (Then you would say, “Good job, N****! But, sadly, you got the wrong semester.” Then I would say, “Darn!”)
Pinch some random guy’s cheek and say, “oh! How precious are you?!”
Talk in a fake accent the entire day
Wear a totally mis-matching outfit on day
Stalk someone
Write on people’s arms that sit by me, “I love you”
Go on a blind date with a guy of your choice
Block the door of a building and make people “say the magic word” to go in
Do a cartwheel while screaming on the grass during passing time
Throw a snowball at a hot guy and apologize by giving him my phone number
Buy you a Christmas present
Eat some grass
Do a Gollum impersonation (with cookies, of course)
Speak in opera tones
Dye my hair a weird color
Actually buy presents for my family this year
Wear a toga to school
Wake my roommates up in the middle of the night (and record it) by screaming, “The snails have got me! The snails have got me!” (this would be so embarressing...)
Put snow down someone’s shirt and run off screaming, “you’ve been hit by the psycho penguin!
Wear a tutu to school
Abstain from using a really common word for a whole day…and if I use it I must squawk like a chicken
Quote “The Princess Bride” for the class (with cookies, of course)
Act crazy (er)
Play “Mary had a little lamb” five times in a row in the Wilk eating area REALLY LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS
Start a protest against boring teachers
Write a letter to your boss describing how wonderful you are
Smile all day with spinach in my teeth
Work at Taco Bell and address at least three people as “my cutie pie”
Eat nothing for a whole day
Imitate someone in the class and have everyone guess who it is
Act out a scene from a book everyone knows…
Wear flip-flops in the snow and when people exclaim at me how weird I am just reply, “My feet get too hot during the winter.”
Get a wheelchair, go to the mall with a friend, and be the retarded sister who is abused. (This is from personal experience.)
Wear a prom dress to school
Wear a toilet paper turban for the duration of the class
Try to get my middle splits down by next Wednesday and record my progress in inches.
Drink a liter of something during class
Teach the class my favorite song “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” (with cookies, of course)
Give out medals to random people for being “worst dressed”
Go on a blind date and pretend to be “deaf” and record my experience :P
Jump off the high dive in swimming and scream: “Aphrodite!” on the way down
Wrap up all my chewed pens and give to someone as a Christmas present
Sing “I’m a little Teapot” while going to the bathroom in a public restroom
Play truth or dare with the class…two truths and two dares.
Do a death scene
Hop around the room yelling the names of the seven dwarfs
Make a phone call to someone’s mother and tell her that her son/daughter needs one hundred dollars
Sing everything I want to say
Quote Monty Python (with cookies, of course!)
Think of five words that rhyme with my name and make them into a poem
Give the heaviest person in the class a piggy back ride
Yodel and dance around for 30 seconds
Do thirty push-ups as if I’m in the army (with cookies for the class, too!)
Lick my foot…for some reason
Give you two cookies and a back massage during class
For a minute, sing improvised opera about a subject of your choosing
Tell everyone who my first kiss was (this is actually a REAL cause for embarrassment and no one else has a story as weird as this…) with cookies!
Lick the floor?
Kiss someone on the cheek
Play “Baby if you love me…” with the class
Answer all questions in class as if I were a character out of a book or movie (the class decides which character)

5 comments:

Man o Steel said...

That's a really long list. If they would've wrote their paper instead of this list, they'd be done in time.

Tirzah said...

Does she really think some of those things were worth it? Some were, others were just dumb.

I was going to say the same thing about actually spending the time writing the paper!

Kimberly said...

I'm guessing you like cookies?

The other two comments stole what I was going to say.

I'm laughing soooo hard.

QT pie said...

you should post more of these... HAHAHAA

Anonymous said...

I definitely know who wrote this, haha. It's kind of obvious, knowing her.