1) on the plane. seconds away from landing. baby stands up. pee flows down. drama ensues.
2) at grandma's house. baby pulls down pants. diarrhea flows out. screaming ensues.
3) at the *mall.* diaper comes off. poop rolls out. mcdonald's refuses napkins. swearing ensues.
4) five seconds ago. I try to write this blog entry. husband starts yelling for me. poop is smearing all over. hands. legs. stomach. new christmas clothes.