Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Books that will fill you with self-loathing and/or pure loathing that might make you want to blow your brains out

Like this one:
reason you will feel self loathing: because once you wrote a sentence that bad in a draft of one of your books and just the fact that you might have something in common with this book is enough to make you dry heave.

page you will feel this self loathing kick in: somewhere between 2 and 4 (or maybe when you read the flap copy. it depends how you feel about passive voice.)

or this one:

reason: seriously. that premise? go read about it on Amazon. you'll feel morally bereft just by knowing what the book is about. but the worst part? (and the source of the self-loathing) the book is so damn well-written that you'll laugh the whole damn way through. you'll look forward to reading it. it'll get you all interested. and then you'll think, "waaaiiit. if this book has no morals and I like it... what does that SAY about me?!" and you'll want to make an appointment with your bishop to discuss your lack of a soul.

page number loathing kicks in: around 120. i.e. the first time you have to get up to pee and then you realize that you're desperate to get back to reading the book.

1 comment:

Kyle said...

EGAD, that second book is recommended for libraries?? My poor daughter was already going to be deprived of TV and movies, but now I guess we have to add books to the list (and maybe friends, too).