Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Morning Conversation... With a Chipmunk

[Time: yesterday morning]
[Setting: the middle of friggin nowhere.]
[We're camping in the Nevada mountains with my huge paternal extended family. They are very good campers. Me? not so much.]

me: [sleeping]

Kamikaze Chipmunk (KC): [hurls himself from the roof of our 10 ft. tall cabin.]

me: [scream as something that feels like a rubber ball whacks my face and wakes me up.]

my sister, Kate: [laughs]

me: [sit up, glare at Kate.] "What did you do that for?"

Kate: [innocently] "Do what?"

me: "Throw that ball or whatever at me."

Kate: "I didn't throw anything at you."

me: "What hit me in the face then?"

Kate: [shrugs]

me: [look at my pillow.]

Kamikaze Chipmunk (KC): [gives me a look as innocent as Kate's]

me: [scream]

KC: [cocks his head like humans are very amusing.]

me: [talking to chipmunk] "OMG, are you not even going to run away as I scream at you? Have you no fear of humans at ALL?"

KC: [thinks humans are very amusing indeed.]

me: "I could totally kill you, you know. You really should get off of my pillow! And for heaven's sake, develop more fear of humans!"

KC: [looks like he may be laughing at me.]

Steve: [wakes up] "What's going on?"

me: [point to chipmunk]

Steve: "OMG that's a chipmunk."

me: "Do something already!"

Steve: [tries to grab chipmunk]

KC: [casually flicks his tail out of the way]

Everyone in the WHOLE CABIN: [starts to laugh hysterically]

me: "OMG it's like a mouse but bigger."

Steve: "And with tattoos."

me: "Chipmunk, why don't you RUN AWAY?!"

KC: [looks at me like he's laughing again]

Steve: [manages to grasp tail of KC and tries to fling him out the window, but KC squirms free and stares at us from window sill.]

KC: [totally laughing at us again.]

Everyone in the WHOLE CABIN: [squealing and laughing]

me: "OMG he probably has fleas and tics and diseases and now they're all over my pillow!!"

Steve: [grasps tail again and is finally able to toss KC out of the window.]

KC: [laughs the whole way down.]

me: "I need a bath. There is too much nature all over me."

[I get up and stare at my contaminated bed.]

me: "And also, my face hurts."

[I hobble out of the cabin and spend the rest of the morning yelling at random chipmunks.]


Trisha said...

I would check yourself for tics though, a few people founds some on them!!!! Crazy chipmunk, we encountered nothing that fun.

Mark- TCM said...

As I write this I am grinning from ear to ear with amusement. rofl!

Audra said...

Are you sure you didn't take an Ambien again? Unless your mother or Steve confirms this story - I will have to claim that you were on drugs, again. :)

Love ya Kerry. Wish we could have done more at the reunion that pass by each other and ask, "You better?" and you nod - NOPE.

Take care.

Kerry said...

My mom will confirm the story.

And you'll be happy to know that my gastro-intestinal issues cleared up. (Mostly.) Right in time for my dissertation defense, so yay!

Elise said...

I always read your posts out loud to Brad. We die laughing.