Thursday, August 19, 2010

Morbid Thursday: A Conversation with Dr. Lily (or Ms. Go Hide?)

Lily: "The thing about knives, Mommy, is that they cut you."

me: "You speak truth."

Lily: "They can cut any part of you. They can cut your throat and your arms and your legs and your head and your face and your toes."

me: "Yes, but you are not going to use a knife to do that, are you."

Lily: "I think it's possible to cut off your own fingers."

me: "Okay, now I'm going to need you to actually say the words, 'I will not touch knives.'"

Lily: "There would be a lot of blood if that happened. A whole big pool of blood."

me: "Repeat after me, 'I. will. not. touch. knives.'"

Lily: "Okay, okay."

me:  "Say it."

Lily:  "Geez.  No knives.  Okay?"

me: "And you won't let your friends touch knives, either, right? Because blood is gross."

Lily: "Mommy. Blood is not gross. It's just part of us. The liquid part."

me: "Blood is totally gross."

Lily: "No. It's just wet. The only thing about blood is that it means pain."

me: "Yes. PAIN. That's the part you should dwell on. Because all this talking about blood and knives is very disturbing. Unless you want to be a doctor when you grow up. And then it's only slightly less disturbing."

Lily: "I would be a very good doctor."

me: "I sort of agree."

Lily: "I think owies are just so interesting."

me: "That's better. Come give me a kiss."

Lily: "Oh, I don't think so. Faces have way too many germs. You can get me sleeping medicine, though."

me: "You want to be drugged to sleep?"

Lily: "Yes, please."

me: "Oh my heck."


Elise said...

LOL. Where is your book on these children of yours? I couldn't INVENT this material!

Audra said...

very funny. drugged, cutter and a dr. I bete you are a proud mama!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Just when I think I've heard it all from Lily...

Sarah said...

your kids kind of scare me, or at least make me think you should sleep with one eye open...