Sam's friend: "I have so many girlfriends. I have, like, twelve girlfriends."
Sam: "But, dude. That is just... wrong."
Sam's friend: "You're right. Maybe it was thirteen girlfriends..."
Sam: "No, no. You're not supposed to have twelve OR thirteen girlfriends. It's just wrong. It's mean. And bad. You're only supposed to have ON... [furtive glance at me as he realizes I'm listening] I mean, ZERO. ZERO girlfriends. None at all. We are WAY too young to even be thinking about having girlfriends."