The day my new baby came home from the hospital, my mom and I were home alone with her. She'd just eaten and was trying to burp. But, since she was only two days old, she wasn't very good at burping and was instead making this weird sort of choking/gasping type noise. I was slightly disturbed by the noise, and even more disturbed by the fact that it had been at least 15 seconds since her last breath, but I had to pee, really, really bad. So I handed the baby over to my mom and ran to the bathroom.
Before I could get beyond unbuttoning my pants, though, my mom was screaming.
Now, and this is embarassing, my first thought was, "Woman! What's the matter with you? She can't be dead *yet.*" Because, as we all know, it takes at least three minutes to suffocate.
But she was still screaming. Kind of a lot.
So I grudgingly buttoned my pants back up and walked back to where my mom was.
The sight I saw was kind of disturbing. My mom was holding up my two day old baby and the baby had blood running out of her mouth and down onto her nightgown. Lots of it.
I don't even remember if I went pee because we were both totally freaking out so much that we just rushed out to the car and started for the ER.
When we got there, though, everyone reacted with less than alarm. They looked at the baby. Then they asked to look at my nipples.
"Yeah," they said. "There's no reason to worry. She's not throwing up her own blood. She's throwing up *yours.*"
Which is, in its own way, equally as disturbing.
"Yeah," they said. "This happens all the time."
Which immediately made be wonder 1) Why hadn't I heard of it happening ever before? and 2) Why the punks at the hospital didn't warn me it *could* happen.
They sent us home and told me to use a breastpump until my nipples were less scabby.
Reviewing the Mail: Week of 12/9
2 days ago