Sam: "What are you looking for?"
me: "My razor."
Sam: "Why are you looking for your razor?"
me: "Because I need to shave my hairy armpits."
Sam: "Oh, I see." [pause][fake sigh] "Well, you should know, Mommy, you've got a LOT of work ahead of you."
Sam: [shrugs] "At least your mustache hasn't grown back in. That would be too much for one day."
How The Hell Did This Happen? by P.J. O'Rourke
2 hours ago