Everyone always talks all the time about how they think they'll be a better mother than their mother. And, I confess, I was probably one of those self-righteous judgers. But it has recently occurred to me that not only will I not be *better* than my mother, there's a good chance I'm WAY WORSE than she is.
A scenario that may illustrate this:
I've been so busy puking lately that I can't drag myself out of bed except to puke. My baby has grown tired of watching 8 hours a day of Thomas the Tank Engine in my bedroom, so he's started to just wander around the rest of the house and play by himself. Part of me always thinks that if I were a good mother, I'd be able to at least drag my puking butt out to the couch so I can kind of watch him. (I've heard that leaving 1 year old's unattended for 8 hours at a time is generally frowned upon.) But apparently, I'm not that good because I can't get out of my bed. So, periodically I just yell out, "Hey! Are you OK?" And being the smart-alec that my baby is, he yells out, "yeah," in a "please stop harassing me you crazy woman," tone of voice.
Well, one time I called out, "Are you OK?" And there was no response. I found this troubling, so I did manage to get myself into the living room where I saw the following: My one year old baby had gotten himself a Pepsi, arranged pillows on the couch, and was sitting there, all lounging, with his feet up. He had managed to start himself a DVD of cartoons and had the remote in one hand and his open can of Pepsi in the other. When he saw me he just raised his eyebrows and was like, "Yeah? What do you want?"
I just shook my head and got back into bed.
1 comment:
Your mom says: You are not worse than your mother, Kerry, you are better. You're just at the bottom of the pool looking up and wondering if you will ever reach the surface. You do. You just don't know how now. But you will. Sorry that there is no way through it, but time, and that's no comfort. Hang in there.
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