We're living in the dark ages here

So, it's not enough to have no cell phone. (I'm paying a friggin $80/month for an answering machine. Curses on Verizon.)

But our home phone isn't working, either. Sometimes works. Sometimes doesn't. Sometimes gives no dial tone. Sometimes turns my voice into this creepy robotic freak show that creeps people out so much that they can't understand a word I'm saying. (I'd curse Comcast for this, but I can't because that's were the husband works. I'll just have to sic him on it.)

It's like it's 1865 around here. Without the polygamy. (Except maybe for that cranky old guy across the street who's always suspiciously hanging out with like five old ladies. This did used to be Taylorsville . . . Hmm . . .)