Things it's better not to count when you're in Wales

1) the $'s you just spent because the exchange rate spiked.
2) the number of carbs you just consumed.
3) the extra $'s you spent because your taxi driver could tell you had NO IDEA what you were doing.
4) the number of times you think, "OMG what is that smell?!"
5) the number of times you think, "OMG what happened to that dog's FACE?!"
6) the number of times you curse yourself for trying to pack light. (Note to self: underwear is NOT THAT HEAVY. And even though you think you'll be able to wash them in the sink, the truth is, you won't be able to do that very well. This is how you will end up smelling all European. Next time: pack more underwear.)
7) how many pounds your "light" suitcase ways in spite of your lack-of-underwear drama.
8)the number of times you drank out of the sink that said "do not drink this water" not because you couldn't read the welsh sign but because you couldn't find any other water and you were really thirsty.
9) how many people stare at you because you're a gazillion feet taller than they are.
10) clouds.
11) also lambs.

An Englishman, an American, and ten Australians walk into a Welsh bar...

And suddenly, you have the weirdest chance ever to learn about variations in the English language!

My favorite word from the night: "clucky." Adjective. It describes someone who is baby hungry. Like, "Every time Stewart comes over to my house, he gets all clucky when he plays with my two year old." (True quote from the evening!) Origin: referring to the relationship that a mother hen has with her chicks.

It's a common word in Australia, but not in England, Wales, or America. And less embarassing to misunderstand than say, "pants" or "napkins." (underwear and maxi pads in Britain)(cue hilarious memory of Steve making huge hand gestures to the London waitress five years ago and saying, "We're going to need NAPKINS. LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of NAPKINS!")

(Oh, and BTW, I didn't drink at the bar, if you were wondering. They all made fun of me, too, and kept competing to see who got to buy me lemonade. I finally let one of them buy me a diet coke. That's about as risque as I get.)