I had a total realization in therapy this week. And before I tell you what it was, let me just say: Mom, it doesn't matter that I tell the whole world that I'm in therapy because even if Steve *does* run for office, ALL OF AMERICA will sleep a WHOLE lot better knowing that his crazy a$# wife at least tried to get *help.* Trust me on this.
Okay, moving forward.
Motherhood is psycho hard. It requires the total sacrifice of mind, body, talent, spirit, soul, etc. And even though I knew what I was doing was *important,* I was still pretty ticked about this whole sacrifice thing.
But I realized that it actually wasn't the sacrifice itself that was bugging me.
It was that, of the two of us, *my* soul was the one worth sacrificing. All of the talents I spent my whole life developing? Every aspect of my personality that didn't have something to do with childrearing (aka: ALL of them)? Every bit of self that I had thought was important somehow?
Underneath all my angst, despair, rage, resentment, etc. was the sneaking suspicion that I, as a human being, was worthless.
So, there is is. The next question is, WTH do you *do* with this kind of realization?
A tiny rant
1 day ago