Friday, July 11, 2008

One of my students confessed she'd been avoiding boys because she was afraid to get married

I said, "Uh... you know you're allowed to say 'no,' right?" (Because I actually didn't know that at her age.)

Over the years a lot of my students--all girls, actually; no boys yet--have told me about how afraid they are to get married.

Now, I've been married almost eight years now, and, y'know, it's not *that* scary. You'd think that the very idea of marriage shouldn't terrify my college students so much that they'd avoid the oppossite sex altogether.

Which made me wonder... If so many girls are afraid to get married... Is it *their* idea of marriage that needs to be changed, or *ours*?

7 comments:

kate said...

theirs. marriage is great. it's still life that sometimes sucks, but at least now there's someody to go through it with you.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Whenever I see youtube clips of that Bridezilla show, I wonder what kind of delayed flesh-bags-for-a-groom these "ladies" are marrying because based on their abhorrent on-camera behavior I would hypothesize that there should be a lot more cases of Runaway Groom Syndrome being documented.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I see your links around Segullah and I lurk here sometimes. Sorry about that.

k said...

no worries, lurking is totally allowed.

kk said...

I'm at that stage...afraid to get married. Marriage=Game Over. But I think it is probably BYU culture because women are expected to stay at home cook, clean, and scrapbook, or drop out of school and support their husbands while they finish school and get a life. So that's probably why I've been dating 18 yr olds=no commitment. or why girls in your class avoid men all together, because the sooner you get married the sooner you are expected to become subservient to a man. yuck.

Penelope said...

This is what I'm thinking. Tell me if I'm wrong:

I think in some families the timeline is SO important that individual development is completely ignored. Some people are not ready to get married at twenty, 22, 25 even. That's OK. If the family is pushing marriage, it's probably just easier to not have a boyfriend.

They'll change their mind about marriage when they meet the right guy. Heck, I might even get over the fact that the dude will leave the toilet lid up occasionally when I'm meet the right one.

Karen

Anonymous said...

You girls need to get out of Provo