It's a POLL!

things students will do for paper extensions:

make up rap/songs about the class

play the "Zelda" theme song on a violin that hadn't been tuned since last December. (he tuned it right before he played, but warned us that it doesn't hold its tune very well after such a long hiatus. whatevs, kid.)


eat a twinkie in one bite



dress like Jimmer but with two ties.




crochet scarfs for roommates

stuff their mouths (and ear!) with as many gummy worms as possible.

go a few days without a shower

chug a disgusting mix of milk, soda, juice and every other liquid in the Canon Center. (also, there was a gummy worm at the bottom of the bottle.)

eat as many Oreos in a minute as possible



I guess the question is, what won't students do for an extension? (especially superuptight honors students.)

Question: What would you have done?

I'm making a blog for my students and for the life of me I can't think of what to name it.

It'll have the syllabus, the course calendar, some posts and stuff, and, of course, will look totally cool.

Any suggestions?

Will it get more people to comment if I offer a prize? I'll offer a prize then. FREE BOOK for the person who thinks of the best name for my blog.

[Contest closed, though if you still want to give me suggestions, then go for it!]

Weird Protagonist Names

Okay, y'all. I need to gauge the weirdness of some names.

I have these two characters and I'd been calling them Holly and Ivie, but last night (really late and probably after I'd taken an Ambien) I decided to change their names. The change was primarily because of some really important plot stuff that I can't get into without giving too much away, but also because of the fact that some really well-selling books from a genre similar to this one were headed by a protag named Holly.

I chose the names Sila and Sanna. Now, these *specific* names were chosen, like I said, for important plot stuff I don't want to get into, though aesthetically I'd probably have chosen something different. (Yanno, like Holly and Ivie.)

But are they too weird?

And is it worse that they're supposed to be pronounced with a Sh? ('Sheelah,' and
'Shanna.')

How do you feel about book characters with weird names?

Vote:

the following two numbers have a relationship that takes the form of an exponential equation:

x: 72 (the number of papers I graded today)

y: 459 (the number of carbs I ate today)

10 points for determining the correct form, utilizing basics of linear algebra.

Margie Mills! I'm feeling out my non-Mormon friends!

Feeling *OUT* people. sheesh. if y'all were Mormon you wouldn't go there, I'm sure.

So, I'm about to go out to dinner. And we all remember what happened last time I went out to dinner, right? Which got me wondering... Sometimes I go out to lunch/dinner with y'all. Sometimes in places with pretty drink menus.

So: Non-Mormon Friends:

I didn't get drunk last night

I didn't even drink. In fact, I've never once had any alcohol that wasn't in the form of NyQuil or the super tiny bit of mouthwash you accidentally swallow that makes you cough until you cry. Once my bff bought me a bottle of brandy, but that was just because I was worried about early contractions and she said that if I really panicked I could sip it on the way to the hospital (alcohol used to be used to stop early labor, apparently). The brandy is still unopened, locked via child-proof lock, in our medicine cabinet.

But even though I don't drink, I did look at the drink menu at Joe's Crab Shack last night. I was bored and my kids were playing in the play place and Steve was on a work call. They had all sorts of frozen drinks with pretty colors that looked super tasty. I thought to myself, "See, if Margie Mills was here, she could tell me that these don't taste nearly as good as they look and I wouldn't have to feel like sighing at my self-imposed temperance..." Margie Mills is one of my very few non-Mormon friends. And, really, even the least prudish of my Mormon friends are more prudish than the most prudish of my non-Mormon friends. So Margies come in handy in situations like these.

So, anyway. I didn't drink anything.

But this morning? I totally woke up feeling like I had a hangover. My head throbbed, the light hurt, I wanted to throw up, and basically I felt all sorts of self-loathing that didn't seem to have a cause.

That's what a hangover feels like, right?

So: poll time.

Just curious about y'all

when you get back from the polls, I want to know:

And you thought I was finished. Heh!

Okay, okay. I'm having too much fun making polls

Visiting Teaching Poll!

Nuclear Weapons Poll!

Any Shaman's Out There?

Because my dreams lately have been WACKED.

For example, last night, I dreamed that I went to church in Paris, where they talked about sex instead of Jesus and then they put my baby in a casserole dish of rice and paraded her around the room. I turned to my friend, Janet, who had super thick hair down to her butt and was two and a half months pregnant (both things surprising for those who know her) and we just shook our heads and said, "Oh, my. That is strange. Well, should we go make jewelry in the bathroom?" Which we did. While I told her about my train trip through Germany's Rain Forest.

Then, like most mornings, the dream ended suddenly when a real-life baby butt landed on my face and a binkie-faced Lily hit my head with the TV remote and said, "Mommy, wake up. I want to watch Caillou."

For those who aren't familiar with Caillou, it is the brain child of a seriously warped Canadian (not all Canadians are warped, of course; but this one sure is) who decided to try and convince all the children of the world that tantrum throwing and crazy whining will be rewarded with fun crafts!

Anyway.

Interpretations?

So, the world might end tomorrow

Because if I learned one thing from the Advanced Science Writing class I taught this summer, it's that scientists are always saying disturbing things like, "Well, truth is I don't know how this works," or "Well, we can't be *entirely* sure that this won't create a black hole..." and you should prettymuch be terrified ALL THE TIME.

My plan is to spend tonight eating an entire box of Krispy Cremes and then to run around my backyard in my underwear (just because I can).

What's your plan?

Opinion Poll!!

Opinion Poll!

Is it ever okay for a 20-year-old to date a 35 year old man?

Even if he happens to be a doctor?

Who looks like this?

(And, yes, that's his REAL picture. Apparently, in addition to being a doctor, he is also a part-time male model.)

(And no, the 20 year old is not me. Thanks for thinking I'm that young, though.)

My number one fear:

Not death. Not taxes. Not even public speaking. (I actually kinda like to force large groups of people to listen to me.)

I am afraid to call people on the phone. It makes me sweat. It keeps my visiting teaching from getting done. It keeps me from going out to dinner with people. It even keeps me (gasp!) from eating pizza.

What are you all afraid of?

One of my students confessed she'd been avoiding boys because she was afraid to get married

I said, "Uh... you know you're allowed to say 'no,' right?" (Because I actually didn't know that at her age.)

Over the years a lot of my students--all girls, actually; no boys yet--have told me about how afraid they are to get married.

Now, I've been married almost eight years now, and, y'know, it's not *that* scary. You'd think that the very idea of marriage shouldn't terrify my college students so much that they'd avoid the oppossite sex altogether.

Which made me wonder... If so many girls are afraid to get married... Is it *their* idea of marriage that needs to be changed, or *ours*?

Help me name a town

I'm trying to name a (fictional) town.

The town was supposedly settled by a (also fictional) crazy-a evangelical preacher named Jeremiah West during the religious revivals of the 19th century. (the town is in the mountains somewhere in Ameria; the specific mountains are flexible. Appalacia is fine. The West is fine. Wherever. But there do need to be mountains.)

Here are some of my (lame?)ideas:

Hallowed Peaks
God's Hallowed
Enoch's Landing
Enoch City
Grove Hallow
New Hope
New Enoch
New Zion
Zion's Chosen
Rapture Hollow

You guys have any ideas? Like any of my ideas? I'm stumped so I'd love any ideas you have! (And if you're my student, I'll give you extra credit if you respond. ;-))

This is a call out to all of you crazies!

I have felt a little crazy lately.

My bff tells me that everyone is like this.

I don't believe her.

So if you have ever had any reason to doubt the stability of your sanity, please leave a comment!

If no one comments, I'll have to tell my bff that she's wrong.

She'll hate that.