Friday, October 01, 2010

See, I'm just too lazy to be a billionaire.

They gave me this one ointment for my graft--they said that it might help any irritation. And it wasn't so bad. Not great. But not bad.

But it turns out that there was something better that it did.

I don't know what made me try it. Genius, maybe. But I put it on my *heels.* And something amazing happened. My heels went from looking like this:

to looking like this:

Seriously, people. My heels look good.

OMG, I thought. I could sell this stuff and be a BILLIONAIRE. Because nothing has ever, not even once, made my heels look this good. And I've tried *everything.* Because who wants to be the lady with the bad looking heels? I used to judge those ladies in my head all the time. And then I was one. And there was nothing I could do about it. Until the magic cream came along.

One problem:

The cream is actually *incontinence* cream. i.e., it's meant to help protect your skin from your *pee.*

That's right. IT'S PEE CREAM.

Which means that to be a billionaire, I'd have to either convince people that it's not gross to buy and use buckets full of pee cream, or I'd have to, like, do a massive re-branding thing. Or something. I actually have no idea. Which is probably why I am most definitely NOT a billionaire.

So, lazy girl that I am, I'll just give you the Amazon link. And since I get like 1% of whatever anyone spends when they buy something (anything!) after clicking a link from my blog, you could help me make $0.50. And, also, you'll have really amazing looking heels. Which is almost as good as being a billionaire, right?

ps: Just so you know, in two years I have made $2.35 from Amazon links! Oh, yeah, baby.

pps: sorry that the link is to a 12-pack. That was the only link that had the exact product number that I have on my bottle. but the cream is totally worth it and you'll use the 12-pack, I promise.

[post edit ppps: after I bought the cream they changed the price to $140! it probably is *that* magical, but WTF? good thing I ordered early.][but bad thing that I was going to buy another box for christmas presents. $50ish I can do. Not $140, though.]

I *think* this may be the same product, just a bigger size:


MaJaTo said...

So, would using this cream on your graft Instead of your heels!) stop the buzzing?
I'm rubbish with creams from doctors. I'll apply for a couple of days, think I'm cured and then be surprised when the itch/rash/whatever comes back.

Sarah said...

Forget the relabeling. When it comes to beauty women will put anything on their bodies. Just ask the ones who put Preparation-H under their eyes to cure puffieness. And if they'll put hemorrhoid cream on their face they will totally put pee cream on their feet.

Trisha said...

My heels look exactly like yours did, if that's your foot. I'd seriously put that cream on my heel to get it smooth and pretty. Except I can't spend money right now since I'm not working and making money...maybe in December!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Since the cream is not *actually* made of pee, I would totally still use it!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

You could rebrand it as a miracle cream made from the essence of BYU virgins...

margie mills said...

Was one second away from purchasing this miracle cream. Clicked the link. Saw the price tag. Oh dear. But wait! That's for a pack of 12. Is this the same thing?

Serious question. I am 100% purchasing this. And if it's not the same thing, finding 12 of my closest friends to go in with me.

cc said...

My foot looks just like yours and I've tried EVERYthing. Sometimes my heel cracks so bad I can't walk on it. I hope this is the miracle I've been looking for. Does the effect last?