Vertigo Explained: The Earth Spins Fast!

This is the sun setting into the Caribbean ocean. My parents filmed it from their front porch in Aruba.

Remember what I said about the blinking?

(Steve says: "that was one psychic tree!")

Don't Blink

This morning when I left for work, this tree had all its leaves.

Four hours later:

See, I'm just too lazy to be a billionaire.

They gave me this one ointment for my graft--they said that it might help any irritation. And it wasn't so bad. Not great. But not bad.

But it turns out that there was something better that it did.

I don't know what made me try it. Genius, maybe. But I put it on my *heels.* And something amazing happened. My heels went from looking like this:

to looking like this:

Seriously, people. My heels look good.

OMG, I thought. I could sell this stuff and be a BILLIONAIRE. Because nothing has ever, not even once, made my heels look this good. And I've tried *everything.* Because who wants to be the lady with the bad looking heels? I used to judge those ladies in my head all the time. And then I was one. And there was nothing I could do about it. Until the magic cream came along.

One problem:

The cream is actually *incontinence* cream. i.e., it's meant to help protect your skin from your *pee.*

That's right. IT'S PEE CREAM.

Which means that to be a billionaire, I'd have to either convince people that it's not gross to buy and use buckets full of pee cream, or I'd have to, like, do a massive re-branding thing. Or something. I actually have no idea. Which is probably why I am most definitely NOT a billionaire.

So, lazy girl that I am, I'll just give you the Amazon link. And since I get like 1% of whatever anyone spends when they buy something (anything!) after clicking a link from my blog, you could help me make $0.50. And, also, you'll have really amazing looking heels. Which is almost as good as being a billionaire, right?




ps: Just so you know, in two years I have made $2.35 from Amazon links! Oh, yeah, baby.

pps: sorry that the link is to a 12-pack. That was the only link that had the exact product number that I have on my bottle. but the cream is totally worth it and you'll use the 12-pack, I promise.

[post edit ppps: after I bought the cream they changed the price to $140! it probably is *that* magical, but WTF? good thing I ordered early.][but bad thing that I was going to buy another box for christmas presents. $50ish I can do. Not $140, though.]

I *think* this may be the same product, just a bigger size:

When Steve said we had good seats, I confess, I didn't believe him.

till we got there. Nicely done, kid.

Steve is going to love this...

http://www.kylemonson.com/2009/07/lego-my-bible.html

I think my favorite is the content notice at the bottom:

- CONTENT NOTICE -
The Bible contains material some may consider morally objectionable and/or inappropriate for children. These labels identify stories containing:

= nudity = sexual content = violence = cursing

Why we didn't have power last night

(FYI: not our car. About ten feet away from our house, though. David heard it happen. We think they were swerving to miss a peacock.)

"Miracle on the Hudson"

Holy crap.

Forget 2009! 1992 here we come!

I even saw one with gas $1.33 a gallon. But I was driving, so I couldn't get a (good) picture.

Did I go to bed and wake up in 1992?

Some things need to be documented because I won't believe them next summer