In Which Lily Decides that Outside is Better than Inside

Lily has had some trouble grasping the childbirth thing. And we have had trouble trying to explain it it her. And yet, she won't.stop.asking.questions. So, one day, we did what all good parents do: resort to consultation with the internet.

me: "Okay, Lily. There's a part of your body called the 'uterus.' Should we google pictures of the uterus?"

Lily: "Yes. Please."

me: "Okay. Here we go."



me: [point to ovaries] "This is where the eggs are. And one gets released every month. And when one of those gets combined with a daddy-version of an egg called a sperm, that's when you get a baby. The cells divide and divide and divide, and they start growing something that looks like a frog at first."




Lily: "That doesn't look like a frog. Maybe a lizard. Or, actually, I don't know what it looks like."

[this is when her face initially starts to show a hint of horror. but we continue cuz we're like that.]

me: "Well, then the baby gets bigger."



Lily: "Stop showing me cartoon things. I want to see the REAL thing."

me: "Okay."



Lily: [starting to look a little green.] "I don't think that's a baby. That's an alien."

me: "No, that's what babies look like on the inside."

Lily: "Yes, but, how do they come OUT?"

me: "Well, one of two ways. The traditional way is what's called a 'vaginal' birth."

Lily: "But also doctors can CUT the baby out, right?" [Lily can be morbid sometimes.]

me: "That's true."

Lily: "I need to see a picture of that."

me: "Really?"

Lily: "YES! Just show me the picture! And NO CARTOONS! And I need to see the whole thing. So let's do a video."

me: "Um... Okay."

[video redacted cuz gross.]

me: "That was really interesting, wasn't it?"

Lily: [silent.]

me: "Was it too gross?"

Lily: "It was fine. But I've decided that I don't like the inside of the body. I only like the outside. How about we look at pictures of things that go *outside* the body? How about wedding dresses?"

me: [relieved] "Okay. Here's one."

Lily, "Hey, that's Kristin!"

me: "Yeah. She randomly shows up on the web a lot."

Lily: "I like things on the outside much better. Let's find more Kristins. And maybe some people from Project Runway."

me: "Okay."