Monies, Things, and Costumes: An Exegesis on Gender and Developmental Fiscal Philosophy

Lily: "You know what I want? I want monies. I want lots and lots and lots of monies."

Steve: "Well, you know, that's why daddies go to work. They do a job and they get paid."

me: "That's why mommies go to work, too."

Steve: "Oh, yeah. I guess some mommies work, too."

Lily: "I just want monies. I want them SO BAD. I just want to go to the store and buy monies."

me: "Sounds like you should be a stockbroker."

Steve: "Why don't we brainstorm the kinds of things you can do for money when you grow up?"

Lily: "I want LOTS AND LOTS of monies."

Steve: "By the time you grow up, there will probably be lots of jobs in the financial sector [since, yanno, there aren't any now]"

Lily: [grunt.]

me: "Or you could go into Cardiology. You won't have much of a life, but maybe you won't like people anyway and won't want one."

Lily: [grunt] "Maybe I only need ONE money."

Steve: "You could be an artist. They get money every now and then."

me: "And you DO like to draw all over the walls and furniture."

Lily: [thinks] "No, I can't be an artist."

me: "Why not?"

Lily: "Because only boys can be artists. Girls aren't allowed."

me: [inner feminist rage starts to emerge] "Why? Why can't girls be artists, too?"

Lily: [dons didactic tone] "Because, mommy. Boys... well, they get... *things.* Girls... they get... *costumes.*"

Steve: "That's sort of deep."

me: [think: OMG my inner feminist is going to keel over]

In which we discover that Lily is really a V with plans of mass human annihilation

Scene: We're at Burger King, watching President Obama pardon the turkey. Neither of my children are wearing shoes and the smell of boiling fat permeates the air. BTW, Burger King is where we go for all of our sociopolitical enrichment. We're classy that way.

Me: "Do you guys see those girls behind the president? Those are his daughters. Wouldn't it be weird if your dad was president?"

Sam: "Um, the way it would *really* go, Mommy, is that *you'd* be the president and I'd have to call you 'mommy president' and we'd live in the white house."

Me: "You make a very good point."

Sam: "But can girls even be president?"

Me: "Not that it's apparent historically speaking, but absolutely girls can be the president."

Sam: "Huh. Lily, do you want to be the president?"

Lily: [thinks for a moment.] "What I want is to be a giant and then to tower SO HIGH that I'm a voice in the sky. And I'll BOOM. I'll say 'PEOPLE! LISTEN!' And then I'll mush them."