Just got back from beautimus Alabama

and I have to say, I'm sort of fond of the state. lilting accents, lots of carbs, pretty hills, all that. the plane I rode in broke down twice. I had to calm down the boy (college aged) next to me because it was his *very first flight* and his mom, who had also never flown before in her life, told him he shouldn't fly because of omens and stuff. I distracted him by getting him to tell me about when the mine company drilled so much marble out of the hill by his house that the land underneath collapsed and half a house (the middle half) fell in the ground. It's OK, though, because they put a tarp over the hole in the roof and plywood over the hole in the living room.

true story.

I heart Alabama.

If you live in Utah and have Comcast and, yanno, an On Demand box

Sam would like you to know that he's on TV. (For a full three seconds at least!) You can see it on "Utah On Demand: Top Picks: Sponge Bob's House."

And on a side note, Sam says, "Mommy, I've been thinking about it and I've decided something: I'm ready to get my first phone."

just FYI

Morning Conversation: I Surrender

[The living room is covered with discarded blankets, various toys, the remnants of someone's clandestine-on-the-carpet-breakfast, and other things that make it vaguely resemble one of those houses on "Hoarders." It has become, quite literally, a war zone.]

me: "Omigoodness, what happened out here?!"

[two kid heads poke up from inside the blanket chest, which is open. they are wearing helmets and grasping onto the edge of the chest like soldiers peeking out of the trenches.]

Sam: "Stay sill Mommy. This is a war."

me: "Um..."

Lily: "And we will defeat you, Mommy."

Sam: "Yup. You're doomed."

me: "Um..."

Lily: "Kids ALWAYS defeat the grownups."

me: "Really?"

Sam: "Yup. We know your weakness."

me: "What is it?"

Sam: "FOOD!!"

me: ?

Lily: "Hey Mommy! [sing songs] "I've got a marshmallow for you..."

Overheard from the Shower

Sam: "Because love, love, love, love, LOVE, is a wonderful thing! There's kissing and hugging and love is a wonderful thing! Oh, love, love, love, love, love, loooooooovvvvveee!"

Afternoon Conversation

Sam: "Mommy, Mommy."

me: "What?"

Sam: "Did you recognize that I can't see my own face?"

me: "That's been bothering you for awhile now, huh."

Sam: "What is WITH that?!"

I'm guest blogging today over at T.U.W.

if you're a writing person it might be more interesting than if you're not.

http://throwingupwords.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/guest-blogger-the-loverly-kerry-spencer/

xo's

Morning Conversation

[just finished eating breakfast. we're all sitting at the table digesting. Lily's speech sorta comes from nowhere.]

Lily: "This isn't my house."

me: ?

Lily: "Beyond the mountains, far away, is *my* house."

me: ?

Lily: "It looks like Salt Lake, where there are alligators. Ew. And waiting for me in the house are puppies. They're not hatched yet, though. They came in eggs and they're waiting for me to get there so that they can break through the shell."

me: "And what does this house look like?"

Lily: "There are lights on the top."

me: "Like Christmas lights?"

Lily: "Mmm hmm. And it's purple and green, purple and pink."

me: "Good colors."

Lily: "And I have brothers and sisters there. Two brothers."

me: "What are they named?"

Lily: [doesn't even pause to think.] "Zeke and Zed."

me: "What about your sisters?"

Lily: "One is named Hawk and the other is named Leelee."

me: "Oh."

Lily: "And my mom, she's Hot."

me: "Naturally."

Lily: "No, that's her name. Hautte Simpson. And my dad he's named Lyse."

me: "Interesting."

Lily: "I have a big family there. Not like this family. This family is little."

me: "Comparatively speaking."

Lily: "I also have two babies. Hawkzeke and Hawkzekezokes. Hawkzeke doesn't have a tongue, but he eats vegetables. And also baby food."

me: "You can buy baby food jars of vegetables."

Lily: "Yes, but I buy all of his food at a special store on the edge of California."

me: "That's a long way to go for baby food."

Steve: "Well, California is beyond the mountains, too. Maybe her house is close."

Lily: [ignores us.] "I suppose you can come visit me. But I don't have a ding-dong. You're going to have to knock."

This post(er) is for my friend Carol

And now Lily

Looking at my SIL's blog made me get all nostalgic today about how babies grow

so here's a little journey back in time.

first with Sam:

Afternoon Conversation: On the origin of style

Sam: "Mommy, do you know what 'pizazz' is?"

me: "You mean, like style?"

Sam: "Sort of like that. But listen: I'll tell you what it is."

me: "Okay."

Sam: "Let's say that you've got two things: a stinky shoe and something cooler, like a stick of cheese." [Sam really loves a good cheese.]

me: "Okay."

Sam: "Now, if you take the spirit of the cheese and put it in the shoe, then there you have it."

me: "Pizazz?"

Sam: "Exactly."

The awsome thing about having kids who dress themselves

is that sometimes they dress like this:

Morning Conversation: Familial Adjectives

Sam: "You know what you are, Mom? You're wonderful." [stops; then remembers that Steve is right next to him.] "Oh, yeah, and Dad, you're awesome."

Steve: "Those are wonderful and awesome adjectives. Does Lily have an adjective?"

[pause; in which we all cringe at the thought of Sam starting to spout off the various swear words he's picked up from cable TV.]

Sam: "Lily is cute."

[we all are relieved.]

Steve: "She really is cute."

me: "What about you, Sam? What's an adjective to describe you?"

Sam: [no hesitation] "I am COOL. Very, very COOL."

me: "Cool. Nice. This is the sign for cool: watch."

Sam: "Very nice. And this is the sign for LOSER."

In which Sam decides, like a good little American, that notoriety is more important than the risk of embarrassment.

Sam: "There's something that I don't tell people about."

me: "That sounds bad."

Sam: "Well, I don't tell people that I still cuddle at night."

me: "Oh?"

Sam: "Yeah, I think people think that only babies should cuddle at night."

me: "I don't think they think that."

Sam: "They do. Some people my age think that if you cuddle with your mommy you're a baby."

me: "Oh, well, you don't have to tell them then."

Sam: "I know! That's what I said."

me: "Okay."

Sam: "So we agree. No talking about the cuddling."

me: "Sure."

Sam: [pause.][thought.] "You're going to put this on your blog, aren't you."

me: "What if I did?"

Sam: [thinks.] "Well, your blog is going to make me famous... So I guess it's okay."

Morning Conversation

Sam: "Mom, why haven't I been going to school?"

me: "Christmas vacation."

Sam: "The thing is... I know that there are a lot of people who miss me if I don't go to school."

me: "I'm sure they're OK. No one is going to school."

Sam: "You don't understand. I have a LOT of fans."

me: "That's true."

Sam: "So I'm going to need to go to school soon. Because it's just not right to disappoint your fans."

me: "It is sort of gauche."

Lily's Psyche: In which Santa is a creeper who not only stalks small children, but steals their toys.

Scene: the Target Toy Aisle, where we are surrounded by a throng of frazzled parents who resort to jumping over Lily when she throws herself onto the ground on top of the doll that she has decided she needs.

me: "Lily, you need to come over here or I'm going to pick you up and take you to the car on timeout."

Lily: "No! I can't leave without this doll!"

me: "Lily, honey, here's the thing. Christmas is only, like, three days away. There's a really good chance that Santa already has this doll. Or that he's planning on buying it. But if you're naughty, well, you know how that song goes, right? Santa's gonna know."

Lily: "What kind of a man IS that guy?"

me: "One who's gonna know if you don't get up off the floor."

Lily: "Noo! Santa isn't going to get this doll, it's mine!"

me: "Huh?"

Lily: "What is HE going to do with MY TOY? He's OLD. He doesn't NEED MY STUFF."

me: "Huh?"

Lily: "He has plenty of toys. He's not going to have the ones that are MINE!" [Clutches harder at the doll.]

me: "I'm not sure you understand how this works."

Lily: "Santa's not going to get it from me! I won't let go of it!"

things students will do for paper extensions:

decorate our classroom so that it feels more festive:





then decorate themselves. with jewelry made of cereal:


and signs that say things like:



and on the back:



then, once the festive mood has been established, they will sing for us from Handel's Messiah. "Surely he hath borne my griefs" in falsetto.