Monday, May 26, 2008

Let's just declare it a gay week, shall we?

We pay the boyscouts $32 a year to put an American flag in our yard on every holiday. This being Memorial Day, there was a flag there this morning. Thus, the would-have-been-offensive-had-it-not-been-said-by-a-four-year-old exchange this morning:

4yo: "Oh, Mommy! What's that there?"
me: "It's an American Flag, honey!"
4yo: "You know, mommy, I think I just YOVE American FAGS!"

Me, too, baby doll. Me too.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Lesbians love me

they always have. not exactly sure why. somehow, this fact came up during class yesterday. again, not exactly sure why. anyhow, in response to learning this fact, female student shakes her head and says, "You know, that really doesn't surprise me, Kerry."

which I might have found somehow, I dunno, offensive? (I'm fairly straight), incriminating? (I work at BYU), or something else.

if I wasn't laughing so hard.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Really, I just wanted an excuse to post that creepy picture again

which is why I'm going to re-create this morning's conversation with my four year old.

4yo: Hello Mommy!
me: Hello!
4yo: So. Tell me about how you slept!
me: I slept just great. What about you? How did you sleep?
4yo: Well, mommy, I had a nightmare.
me: A nightmare! Oh no!
4yo: Yeah. It was bad.
me: what happened?
4yo: Well, I went to McDonald's, but they didn't have any chocolate milk!
me: No chocolate milk?!
4yo: No. And they didn't have any chicken!
me: No chicken?!
4yo: No! I had to eat a disgusting hamburger!

Oh, the horror.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Curious Anthropological Find

this morning, on my carpet. Remnants of a partially eaten substance. The remnants appear to be outer shells and the insides of the substance were found to have been completely licked clean. There were twelve total shells. My hypothesis is that these represent droppings of the Ferocious Lily Monster.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Lily isn't a hugger

She never has been, really. When she was a tiny baby, if I tried to rock her to sleep, she'd cry. She'd also squirm against swaddling, screaming until she could free herself. She didn't like to be held that much, and learned to walk literally as soon as humanly possible (8 months old).

But the last few weeks, she's been hugging me all the time. Kissing, showing all kinds of affection.

So this morning when I asked Lily, "Can I have a hug?" I expected her to give me a hug.

But she didn't.

She gave me a distressed face, shook her head, and then suggested, "High five?"

So I gave her five instead.

Happy mother's day, everyone.

Friday, May 09, 2008

"So. Exactly how many women *are* in your harem?"

I overheard someone saying this at a restraunt last night.

She kinda looked like a polygamist.

Which only made it weirder.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Oh, beautiful day

This kiddo shocked us all by asking to go pottie in the toilet and then DOING IT!!