Friday, May 01, 2009

Afternoon Conversation: lunch with my mom

my mom: [gets out of the car] "You have to ask them to seat us because you're cuter than me and they'll give us a better seat."

me: "Oh, geez. Whatever."

my mom: "It's true! I've been fat and I've been skinny and people are nicer when you're skinny."

me: "You've always said that, but I've been fat and skinny and people treat me exactly the same. Even horny middle aged men don't treat me any nicer."

my mom: "Well, that's just because of the way you dress."

me: "What's wrong with the way I dress?"

my mom: "Nothing. But no one will hit on you if you dress like that. You should dress like Miss Provo."

me: "But Miss Provo dresses all slutty!"

my mom: "ExACTLy!"

[pause]

my mom: "See, you dress like you're a mean feminist. It gives off this whole vibe that says, 'Touch me and I'll BREAK YOUR ARM."

me: "What are you TALKING about?!"

my mom: [flinches] "Please don't break my arm."

10 comments:

Dani said...

Kerry, This totally cracks me up because I can picture the entire conversation ... I love it!

Miss Provo said...

I AM NOT SLUTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I even turned down the free dress in Vegas because it wasn't modest. And I go to BYU AND YOU'RE one to talk.

Anonymous said...

Kristin, your mom DID NOT say slutty. The hilarious conversation above was written by a genius author, but sadly, did not happen as written. I only wish I was that funny.
Love you both.

Trisha said...

Soooo funny, made me lol! I love my Aunt Peggy, oh and you too Kerry!

Audra said...

lol

Miss Provo said...

Wait, you only wish you had called me slutty Mom/anonymous?!!! I am offended.

Kerry said...

mom only says that it didn't happen that way because you got mad about the slutty comment, Miss Provo. (You know how she doesn't like to make people mad!) But you should note: *I* was the one who said you dressed slutty (sort of true, you've got to admit! even when you're "modest" you try to look all sexy and alluring.) Mom just didn't *disagree* with my pronouncement.

But the conversation happened mostly like that. To be honest, the real conversation took about 30 minutes and was even funnier, but I had to boil it down for the blog.

Miss Provo said...

Sexy but modest. Not slutty!

ann cannon said...

I'm in love with your mom.

Sarah said...

Oh...I love your mom!