So, if your mom sends you an email, but she misspells your name

what does that mean?

Afternoon Conversation: lunch with my mom

my mom: [gets out of the car] "You have to ask them to seat us because you're cuter than me and they'll give us a better seat."

me: "Oh, geez. Whatever."

my mom: "It's true! I've been fat and I've been skinny and people are nicer when you're skinny."

me: "You've always said that, but I've been fat and skinny and people treat me exactly the same. Even horny middle aged men don't treat me any nicer."

my mom: "Well, that's just because of the way you dress."

me: "What's wrong with the way I dress?"

my mom: "Nothing. But no one will hit on you if you dress like that. You should dress like Miss Provo."

me: "But Miss Provo dresses all slutty!"

my mom: "ExACTLy!"

[pause]

my mom: "See, you dress like you're a mean feminist. It gives off this whole vibe that says, 'Touch me and I'll BREAK YOUR ARM."

me: "What are you TALKING about?!"

my mom: [flinches] "Please don't break my arm."