So, I just had some (minor)(don't worry, it really was minor) back surgery. (ongoing thing cuz of this.) And because of that, I was on pain pills continuously for several days. And sometimes when I'm on a continuous pain pill schedule, I hallucinate. More like waking dreams, really. Like you've sort of fallen asleep but you don't know it yet and are still conscious? I'm sure if you've ever experienced a Vicodin haze you know what I'm talking about.
So in honor of this occasion, I have declared it drug induced hallucination week! Some of you have heard this first story, but it's one of my favorites, so my apologies for repeats.
So, once like ten years ago I had this ovary that burst. (Painful.) I was scheduled to go immediately into surgery, but there kept being major traumas that would displace my little burst ovary, so I had to wait for two days. And for those two days they kept me REALLY drugged. Like, stoned out of my mind drugged.
So, the night before my surgery, I was lying with my head on Steve's lap. When out of nowhere, this scantily clad Latin man just walked past me. He was tall and really buff (think abs like Jacob) and had long black hair and was wearing a loin cloth.
"Well," I said. "That's pretty strange."
And then, there was another scantily clad Latin man that walked by. But his loincloth was a different color.
And then there was a third and a fourth and a fifth. A whole rainbow of loincloth colors!
And then I realized that they were just parading in a never ending circle in front of me.
So I turned to Steve and said, "How did all these Latin guys get in here? And what's with the parade?"
And then the REAL Steve came out of the other room and said, "Did you say something, honey?"
And I looked down and had been talking to a pillow.
I Told You So by Shannon Wheeler
18 hours ago