Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Evening Conversation: Sam tells me about his new favorite book

Sam: [Lying on my bedroom floor last night] "Mommy, I really love this book."

Me: "Which book are you reading?"

Sam: [His book (On the Go with Pirate Pete and Pirate Joe) pops up into my view; Sam stays on the ground hidden. He's like a voice rising from the dust of my carpet.]

Me: "Oh, yeah. That book is funny, isn't it?"

Sam: "It is VERY funny. I actually can't read all the words because they're big, but I can tell that it is EXTREMELY FUNNY."

Me: "Did you know that my friend wrote that book?"

Sam: "WHAT?! You know people that write books?!"

Me: "Yeah. She signed it for me. Look on the title page."

Sam: "OMIGOSH. She DID sign it. This is the BEST BOOK EVER."

Me: "I'll tell her you like it."

I think my favorite part about this picture is the way the kid looks like he's thinking, "OMG, this guy is NUTS"

Michael Fritzgerald, 9, left, of Sandy Elementary, chats Tuesday with Comcast mentor Steve Spencer during a school event called "Beyond School Walls." The program matches fourth-graders with Comcast employees for one-to-one mentoring. Michael said he wants to be a scientist, the type that will save the world.

Morning Conversation: Channeling Trinny and Suzanna

Lily: "Mommy, I need to talk to you."

Me: "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Lily: "Your boobs."

Me: "My boobs?"

Lily: "They're falling."

Me: "Um..."

Lily: "Why are they falling?"

Me: "Um... because I had babies?"

Lily: "When I grow up, will my boobs fall, too?"

Me: "Probably."

Lily: [Despair-laden-sigh][Then reaches over and grabs one of my boobs] "We just need to figure out how to make.them.stay.UP!!"

Me: "Maybe a better bra?"

Lily: "SOMEthing."

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Friday, September 04, 2009

My nephew Ben says, "The U? Really? You're a Ute fan?"

Evening Conversation

Me: "Oo. Look at that moon! It's so pretty!"

Sam: "And it's full! Very nice. But you know what?"

Me: "What?"

Sam: "I think the moon must like me."

Me: "Why?"

Sam: "Because it follows me everywhere. The sun does it, too. Everywhere I go, it follows me."

Me: "You are pretty likeable."

Sam: "Yes. But maybe it's not that. It could be that I have superpowers."

Me: "True."

Sam: "So where do babies come from?"

Dear Students:

Let's say you're walking to school. And then let's say that while you're walking to school, you change your mind about walking forward in one cross walk and at the last second you turn and head into the other crosswalk. And then let's say that there is a car there, already turning.

And it runs over your foot.

Then let's say that the driver of the car realizes she's run over something and then she backs the car up.

And runs over your foot again.

In the event that this happens to you, you should not go to school that day. You should go directly to the hospital. But you SHOULD NOT WALK (or hop) to the hospital.

And then when you're done at the hospital, you should not, under any circumstance, go to class. Especially not my class. Because maybe a physics professor would tell you to go to class, but I'll tell you that you should go home and take a pain pill.

Just in case that ever happens.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

someone signed me into google chat and wrote in my status section "lifetime but no real time."

1) I don't chat. Chat freaks me out *almost* as much as the phone
2) then who the *&^% was it that signed me in that way?
3) cuz usually when I ambitype (type under the influence of ambien) I at least stay true to my personal phobias and at least sort of sound like myself
4) and "lifetime but no real time" doesn't sound like me so much
5) except it's sort of starting to in a really vague and fuzzy way
6) geez