a former student told me I was the coolest person she knew

and I was like, "have you even MET me?"

My diet has gone to crap in a crap basket

not only did I eat six more of these:


I ate one of these:

And two of these:


And I'm thinking of eating some of this:


And maybe some of this:


And probably six more of these:


I expect this to make me feel:

There was a half-eaten, half-smashed oreo half ground into the carpet

and I ate it.

Here are some cute pictures so my mom doesn't get the bad ones stuck in her brain

It's true, Steve is a coldhearted photographer

He takes pictures of the kids crying or whatever. I always hate these pictures and wonder why Steve does it. (Maybe you can tell us, Steve?) My theory is that he finds that there's more artistic integrity involved with taking pictures of people that aren't always smiling and posing. Here's one he took recently of Lily:

That's the last time I listen to *you* people

Sam noticed that his fish was missing. He got a stricken look on his face and asked, "Mommy, what happened to my pet?"

If I had done what I thought I should have done, I would have already bought another identical fish and replaced it before he noticed his fish was gone. But because everyone seemed to think I should tell him about death, I explained, "I'm sorry honey, but your fish died. We can get you another one when you're ready."

Eyes get wider. Face gets even more stricken. "He's dead?"

Steve says, "Yes. He's in fish heaven now."

Silence.

I say, "Do you want another fish?"

Sam shakes his head. Then his eyes well up. And he starts to cry.

He cries for twenty minutes.

I feel like the worst mother EVER.

So, yeah. Thanks for that, people. Thanks.

WANTED:

This man:


For friggin teaching Lily how to friggin climb out of her friggin crib.

Blinging up Jesus

Anne and May inspired me to make a change in my living room decor.



(Three year old) Sam's (sincere) reaction: "Oh, wow, Mommy. That is so *cute*!"

Kitschy, Kitschy Woman

Note the picture up in my living room(aka: the "home teacher room"):


Now pop over to this post: http://goodgirllit.blogspot.com/2008/02/funny-religious-art-day.html

Ouch man. Friggin ouch.

Lunar Eclipse tonight!

I think this is the third lunar eclipse this year, but there won't be another full lunar eclipse until 2010. It starts at 6:45 Mountain Time. Hopefully the inversion won't block it...

Sometimes I think it's *alive*

The inversion is upon us.

Remember the dark shadow of evil over planets from "A Wrinkle in Time?" Sometimes, I feel like that's what the inversion is made of.

My one year old is not only psychic and precocious, she's a little creepy

When we drive up to my in-laws house for Sunday dinner every week, we pass a graveyard. Yesterday as we were driving by, we realized something: Every single time we pass the graveyard, Lily starts to sing (unprompted), "Ashes, ashes, ashes, ashes."

Not exactly one of a kind

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 58 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Why my job rocks

Today I had lunch with:


She wrote:


You might have seen the movie:

With only a few hours left for bidding

I have two more links to ebay auctions. No one else would send me them. The punks. I guess they didn't want me to post them online. ;-)

ebay auction 1: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESEX:IT&item=160207032788&_trksid=p3984.cSELL.m315.lVI

ebay auction 2: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330210771930

Let's brainstorm good karma

I've decided that I need to reverse the karma in my life. I've been uber cranky for, like, four weeks now.

Any ideas for what to do?

Let's all get fired people!

Not fired up: fired.

Here's what I need. I need creative ways that the (fictional) director of a high school band could go about trying to get fired. Let's say his pension is at stake. Let's say he's got four months to be given the axe or he loses the bulk of his retirement benefits. What should he do?

And remember, he doesn't want to get arrested, just fired.

How white trash am I?

I just took down the Christmas lights in the front yard.

It's February.

And I used a broom.

Writing quote of the day

original source: writer and BYU proffessor, chris crowe
where I found it: in a student paper

"An author's job is to get the protagonist stuck helplessly in a tree; once he's stuck, the author throws stones at him."

You don't look happy

That's what some random stranger of an old man just said to me in the hallway.

Well, here's what I have to say to you random strange old man: bite me. Just friggin bite me.

Do you KNOW what this is?!

It's melting snow.

We hit 45 degrees today.

I'm so happy I could just wet myself.

But now I'm regretting saying that, because my mom will be embarssed for me that I said it.

But what can I do? I've had two babies. I have no bladder control anymore.

On Character Sympathy

I am very resistant to the idea that a character simply cannot be sarcastic and likable at the same time. (Not just because that would invalidate, like, my whole personal persona, though that is obviously a factor! ;-))

So I'm trying to figure out: what makes you like a character? When you're reading a book, what makes you decide to care about what happens to the protagonist? What character traits make you want to throw the book into your nearest toilet?

You don't actually have to be a literature person to answer this. I'm asking anyone who's ever read a book.