Any Shaman's Out There?

Because my dreams lately have been WACKED.

For example, last night, I dreamed that I went to church in Paris, where they talked about sex instead of Jesus and then they put my baby in a casserole dish of rice and paraded her around the room. I turned to my friend, Janet, who had super thick hair down to her butt and was two and a half months pregnant (both things surprising for those who know her) and we just shook our heads and said, "Oh, my. That is strange. Well, should we go make jewelry in the bathroom?" Which we did. While I told her about my train trip through Germany's Rain Forest.

Then, like most mornings, the dream ended suddenly when a real-life baby butt landed on my face and a binkie-faced Lily hit my head with the TV remote and said, "Mommy, wake up. I want to watch Caillou."

For those who aren't familiar with Caillou, it is the brain child of a seriously warped Canadian (not all Canadians are warped, of course; but this one sure is) who decided to try and convince all the children of the world that tantrum throwing and crazy whining will be rewarded with fun crafts!

Anyway.

Interpretations?

I just feel like posting a ton of super cute pictures of my fam. that's all.

So, who was it that decided tapered pants should come back in fashion?!

they weren't cute in the 80's and they're not cute now.

(and someone needs to tell my students this.)

Things Beauty Queens Say

Miss Provo: "So, this guy hit on me like two weeks ago, and he was really rich."

Me: "Rich is nice."

Miss Provo: "But I just wasn't attracted to him! Which really disappointed me because I've always *wanted* to be a gold digger." [sigh] "I guess I just can't pull it off."

So, the world might end tomorrow

Because if I learned one thing from the Advanced Science Writing class I taught this summer, it's that scientists are always saying disturbing things like, "Well, truth is I don't know how this works," or "Well, we can't be *entirely* sure that this won't create a black hole..." and you should prettymuch be terrified ALL THE TIME.

My plan is to spend tonight eating an entire box of Krispy Cremes and then to run around my backyard in my underwear (just because I can).

What's your plan?

My Son: Oedipus

Sam: "Oh, Mommy. I sure love you."

Me: "I love you, too, baby boy."

Sam: "I love every PART of you. I love you hair and your eyes and your hands..."

Me: "Wow!"

Sam: "...and your arms and your knees and your ears..."

Me: "Wow!"

Sam: "and how you bring me chocolate milk, and your belly button, and your elbows."

Me: "Wow!"

Sam: "Can we cuddle?"

Me: "Sure. Do you want to watch TV while we cuddle?"

Sam: "No."

Me: "What do you want to do, then?"

Sam: "I'd just like to talk."

Me: "Okay. What would you like to talk about?"

Sam: [adoring look] "You, Mommy. I'd just like to talk about *you.*"

Banner I saw at lunch time

Apparently, for people who drink neither coffee nor alcohol, 8PM is VERY late. Worthy of a banner, at least.

Miss Provo Wants Some Help Choosing a Pageant Photo

as Penelope says, this news story will pretty much make your life worth living

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/republican_race/2008/09/03/2008-09-03_teen_mom_support_group_jamie_lynn_spears.html

(Penelope is "One Cool Cat" on my blog links to the right.)

Opinion Poll!!

James and the not-so-giant peach

our two year old peach tree sprouted peaches for the first time this year and today we harvested them. about a dozen tiny little peaches. but they tasted just like candy.

Totally my favorite blog comment of the day

"Of COURSE Mormons can be Democrats. As long as they're not practicing then it's not a sin."

(from seriouslysoblessed. I'm seriously laughing at that one.)

On Persona

We talk about "persona" in my writing class. It usually takes students a minute to grasp what it means, but it usually helps them when I say, "Your *person* is who you *are.* Your *persona* is who a stranger reading your facebook page *thinks* you are." An author chooses to reveal or not reveal certain kinds of information about herself, and the information is not always reliable, comprehensive, or even honest.

I thought I had a pretty good concept of persona. (Better than my students, at least. Right?) But then yesterday, I was reading this blog. When the author revealed information about herself, I thought it was reliable. (And if you want to know, I was DEEPLY, DEEPLY distressed.) But then I found out that the subject (the person I thought was the author, herself) of the blog is a completely fictional character. (This is when I started laughing.)

It made me rethink my gut idea about persona. Because it turns out that when people tell me who they are (like on a blog), I automatically *believe* them. It's my default position.

But persona is a poetic construction manipulated for rhetorical goals. (not always in a bad way--like your resume; you want it to make you look good, but you don't want to be found out as a fraud, so you usually choose stuff that is both true *and* flattering.)

But who you are and who people *think* you are... well, those are completely different people.

So, Miss Provo, when did Miss USA start allowing water bras?

maybe it was because they liked the idea of a built-in fire extinguisher.

Dr. Canada! I forgot to tell you this joke while you were in town!

(courtesy of my bff)

there was a surgeon who died and walked up to the gates of St. Peter.

St Peter: "You can't come in here yet: you need to go wait at the end of the line."

the surgeon looked back at the really long line and said, "but I'm a surgeon, I don't wait in lines!"

St Peter: "Sorry, you have to wait in line."

Just then a man wearing surgical scrubs walked right up to the gate, waved at St. Peter and walked through.

Dead Surgeon: "How come THAT surgeon doesn't have to wait in line?"

St Peter: "Oh, that guy?" Shrug. "He's not really a surgeon."

Dead Surgeon: "yes he was! And he just got to walk in!"

St Peter: "No, that was God. Sometimes he likes to play surgeon."

The bumper sticker on the Palin car

Dear Students

My sister informs me that I did not have a chili pepper on ratemyprofessor.com and that she had to add one herself.

I think I am hot enough to deserve a chili pepper that is *not* from my sister.

Please accommodate this.

Thank you.

Things Beauty Queens Say

Miss Provo: "Kerry I'm so excited! My passport just came in! Now I can go to New York!"

Mama's little baby is growing up

Lily told her first poop joke today.



We're so proud.

Yay for Campaigning!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

When the flower girl from your wedding looks like this:

you know you've been married for a LONG time.

happy anniversary, Steve.

I want to say something snotty like "they have pills for that sort of thing" but honestly, I'm just too distressed to say anything

This is the car we pulled up behind today: