Monday, March 31, 2008

Abigail Adams is my new hero

This is probably thanks to Laura Linney. But if Abigail was really anything like Linney makes her seem, she friggin rocked.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why March is a cruel, cruel month

This is a call out to all of you crazies!

I have felt a little crazy lately.

My bff tells me that everyone is like this.

I don't believe her.

So if you have ever had any reason to doubt the stability of your sanity, please leave a comment!

If no one comments, I'll have to tell my bff that she's wrong.

She'll hate that.

Monday, March 24, 2008

This is how you RELAX

That's what Sam told me when I asked him why he was taking his clothes off.

Lily promptly followed his example and stripped down, too. Then they started chasing each other around the house and screaming and pretending to pee on me.


And so they put on swimsuits.

I've been waiting for this for a long, long, long time


Evidence that I am getting to be an old, old lady

Last night I was falling asleep at 9:30PM.

And then this morning I woke up at 4:30AM.

And I couldn't get back to sleep cause my bones were aching.


Mini Lent is Officially OVER

To celebrate, all of us had a drive-through breakfast this morning.

We learned a lot of really depressing and disturbing things from Mini Lent. I won't go into them here because this blog isn't supposed to be depressing OR disturbing.

Well, maybe a *little* disturbing... ;-)

Not to compare my kid to Jesus or anything, but...

Sam ran away from me yesterday. Like, really *ran.* He jumped a fence and ran into the golf course behind his grandparent's house. He ran and ran and ran. (He wasn't mad; he said he just wanted to run.) I tried to follow him, but he was really, really fast.

He ran for about a mile. (The kid is four years old!)

When I finally caught him (and called Steve to come pick us up), I didn't know whether to be mad at him for not listening to me when I told him not to run away or to be sincerely *impressed* at his obviously abundant running talent.

Kinda like Mary musta felt when Jesus ran away to go preach to people, I think.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The most profound piece of literature that is shockingly unknown

We had the lesson that uses this story yesterday.

Fess up, people. Was this one of you?

There was an online forum on the Deseret News asking people who their favorite LDS writers were. People said Dean Hughes, Stephanie Myers, etc. But *somebody* said their favorite writer was *me.* They said I was a "rising talent."

Baffling, I suppose.

But I *like* it.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Because I had possibly the geekiest math group EVER, I've got a few of these gems, Jer


Do you smell the blood of an Englishman?

(You could also say, "Mathematician"--which my geeky math group did--instead of "Englisman" but I'm afraid that if I don't put the "Englishman" part, no one will go to the trouble of saying those greek letters and that math-in-brakets thing out loud and, consequently, they won't get the joke.)

Things Beauty Queens Say

"I'm not really ticklish. But then I was like, 'It's really not that fun to be a person who's not ticklish.' So sometimes, I pretend I'm ticklish so it's more fun."

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Holy &^%$#!!!

While I was innocently away at work, someone cleaned my house!! And did my laundry!!

Best elves, EVER!

Today's Mini-lent confession

Forgive me, oh bloggernacle, for I have

1) Eaten at Taco Bell


2) Eaten some girl scout cookies

They were thin mints.


Just two more reasons that living in Utah will turn you into a feminist

Both found in today's "Police Beat" (from the BYU Daily Universe, I think; my co-worker read them to me). One is just silly. The other is just *wrong.*

1) Police called to the scene because an adult, MALE, duck was found wandering (without permission!) in the FEMALE dorm.

I mean, was it a "dirty" duck? or what?

2) Police called to the scene because a "suspicious" man is spotted near the Wymount playground, watching children play. When questioned, the man reveals that he is (ick!) babysitting his nephews.

So, like, a man actually caring for children is suspicious enough that someone would friggin call the police?!

This state could even make my *mom* feminist.

Monday, March 10, 2008

"Riley B has removed 'laughing' from his interests"

Sometimes facebook isn't aware of how sad some updates sound!

Things Beauty Queens Say

"Waaaaiiit. [pause] What?"

So, do I have to do, like, a mini Hail Mary?

We're not Catholic, so we don't have to do Lent, but due to my recent problems with things like, oh, Oreos, we decided to do a mini-lent. Starts today, ends on Easter.

Here are the rules:
1) no diet coke (ack!!!)
2) no restraunts (ack!!)
3) no buying *anything* except for groceries and even those have to be on a list before we leave the house and if it's not on the list we don't get to buy it.
4) no carbs. well, no oreos at least--you can't really do *no* carbs.

But this morning I already broke number 3. I accidentally went to work without, ahem, my feminine supplies. So I had to go to the store and buy some. I didn't make a list. I didn't even realize that I had already broken a mini-lent rule until I was walking to the checkout stand. The good news was that it helped me resist the urge to buy pajamas and sugar free chocolate. The bad news is that it had only been mini-lent about an HOUR before I broke one of the mini-lent rules.

Gonna be cranky this fortnight. I can tell.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Holy Crap I'm getting old

I went to a Matchbox 20 concert tonight.

I sat in the luxury box.

And all I could think was, "Why the &^^$# is it so LOUD?!"

It's kinda sad, really. I like music. Just not in person anymore, I guess.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Sam's Latest Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

thank you for my mommy and daddy and grandma and grandpa and my otherone grandma and otherone grandpa.[note he doesn't mention his sister]

help me be good and sleep good.

help me be helpful.

and thank you so much for my powers.

Jesus, AMEN.

Praise to American voters!

Because here is some evidence that they might be smarter than they look!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Relax! You're in the 34th safest city in the country!

There's a billboard that says that near I-15. I see it when I'm driving to work.

Now, is it just me? Or is that statment not exactly convincing? First safest, I get. Top ten, I get.

But 34th?!