Sunday, August 31, 2008
I asked her, "Oh, Lily! WHO is Mommy holding?"
She looked at me like, WTH?
So I corrected myself, "I mean, who is LILY holding?"
*That* she accepted.
So, Steve turns around and yells: "Vamanos, Sam. Ahorita. VAMANOS."
Sam halts, frowns in confusion and says (half dreamily; half exhaustedly): "But, *Daddies* don't say 'Vamanos!'"
It made me laugh.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
but I'm not that talented. so this is all you get.
(At least your pants suits are safe from the pee, right?)
Friday, August 29, 2008
1) it bugs me that working women sometimes try so hard to be like men when, duh, motherhood is PART of womanhood and let's just end the whole "it's a man's world" crap now.
2) it bugs me more when people say that motherhood is the ONLY thing that women should do.
how 'bout put the baby in a sling and go rule the free world? k? k.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend Courtney—whose sister Stephanie (Nie-Nie) was in a plane crash—this week. “Friend” seems both strange and not strange to say, actually. Strange because I’ve never actually met Courtney. Not strange because I feel like I have. Intimacy can develop in unexpected ways online—in that strange combination of your private thoughts, written in the privacy of your covered-with-laundry-and-empty-bottles-of-diet-coke bedroom, reaching out to the public of the world and then coming back to you again in private.
The more I think about Courtney and that unexpected sense of intimacy, I can’t help but think about the way that our lives and experiences crisscross each other in circles that overlap just as unexpectedly.
Forty-four years ago my mother was burned in an incinerator explosion—third degree burns extending from her ankles to her elbows. It was an explosion that would have killed any other seven-year-old, if it wasn’t for another unexpected: that my mom had an identical twin. See, skin grafting technology was just in its infancy. The main hurdle to that point: donor skin was rejected and there weren’t anti-rejection drugs. But with an identical twin with identical DNA, the prognosis went from almost certain death to the possibility of recovery. It hadn’t been done before, sure, but maybe it could be done.
That my mother had an identical twin allowed doctors to pioneer burn technology that they had hitherto been unable to develop. And even though she spent months and even her eighth birthday in the hospital (see the picture with her doctor and sister at the hospital birthday party below), she did survive. It was a miracle that no one predicted.
As a little girl, I remember thinking about this bit of synchronicity. I watched my mother put on her makeup and she laughed as she pointed out a freckle on her leg that used to belong to her sister. The windowless bathroom smelled like a mixture of talcum powder and Este Lauder perfume. As the hot rollers popped as they heated up, I remember feeling in complete awe of the existentiality of it all.
I was born because my mother happened to have an identical twin. The freckle that my mom showed me meant that my very existence was linked in a direct line with the existence of my aunt—the unexpected becoming the miraculous.
Forty four years later Nie-Nie and my mother have the same kind of connection to each other. As Nie-Nie recovers in a burn unit that has come so far since my mother’s—and yet, couldn’t have gotten there without her—they have an entanglement of spirit; those ripples of meaning that connect one human to another.
So I’m connected to Nie-Nie, too. And we all end up connected to each other that way. (Never ask for whom the bell tolls, right?) Your pain is my pain is our pain is God’s pain.
I’m not someone who believes that God causes painful things to happen.
(Who would want to believe in a God who would put a 7 year old little girl in the middle of an explosion, or a mother of babies in a plane crash?!)
But I do believe in God’s alchemy.
That whatever crappy awful thing happens, God finds a way to turn it into something miraculous.
Gold from dross, again and again.
The unexpected birthing the beautiful.
One circle of human existence overlapping another’s.
Today has been declared "Nie-Nie Day" in the bloggernacle. Over 90 online auctions (with more than 300 items up for bidding) are being conducted to help raise money for medical costs. Here are two family members of mine conducting some:
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sam in Daddy's coat. (It was cold in Oakland. Who knew, right?)
My new favorite picture of my mom and dad.
The pretty lady behind the flowers is my Grandmother. (My kids' Great-Grandmother)
This is my (almost) entire immediate family (brother&new wife, husband, mom and dad, my two sisters, my kids and my sisters kids). The only two not pictured are...
Joel and Ben. (sister's husband and baby)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sam was supposed to memorize the August Primary Theme and then lead the kids in reciting it at church
the theme was: "I will show my faith in Jesus Christ by being baptized and confirmed."
and Sam's version was: "I will show my faith in Jesus Christ by being baptized and *confused.*"
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Here's what Miss Provo will look like in her tomb raider costume as she walks around the block eating cheeseburgers with our auction winner!
only older. she was purty durn young in these pictures.
our winning bidder should send his check directly to the Miss USA pageant coordinators. Do specify on/with the check, however, that it's to go to the pageant fees of Kristin Clift (Miss Provo). Thanks to your generous donation, you'll be listed as one of Miss Provo's sponsors!
Casting Crowns Productions, Inc.
28248 N Tatum Blvd.
B-1 Suite 137
Cave Creek, AZ 85331
Anyone else that would like to sponsor Miss Provo is welcome to send a check to the same address. (Also be sure to specify that it's for Miss Provo/Kristin Clift.) Miss Provo might even kiss your cheek for it.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I'll post the address to send the check to later. (It's to Casting Crowns. Anyone can send a check, actually! I'm sure Miss Provo will negotiate with all the runners up...)
(and the time stamp below is an hour off. I dunno why. ask blogger. but it's ten now.)
I'm not going to name the source. I don't want the author(s) to find my blog by google alert.
PS: there are only about four more hours to bid for Miss Provo's time!
My favorite part is when they say that fussy babies respond much better to parenting than mellow babies. (My babies fussed a LOT.) Woo hoo!
Lily: [shakes head][all words are spoken a bit muffled because she refuses to remove her binkie] "No, Mommy. I don't want *those* shoes, I want these *cool* shoes":
Me: "Well, why don't we do your hair?" [I pull out a hair tie]
Lily: [screech] "No, no! Mommy! I don't want THAT one, I want a PINK one!"
Me: "Okay, okay. Let's put on your clothes."
Lily: "Not THOSE clothes. I need PINK pants and that shirt is TOO BIG. I want THESE pants and I want THIS shirt":
The thing is, she actually ended up looking pretty cute.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
big a$$ pickup trucks that tailgate me. makes me think lots of bad thoughts about rednecks. and I'm sure all the nice rednecks of the world would rather I didn't stereotype like that. So stopitalreadyyoutailgaters.
Puking while pregnant means a girl is more likely Wasn't true for me, but fascinating nevertheless. (I puked 10 months of a 9 month pregnancy and had trouble gaining weight--read: not losing--with Sam; even had a home nurse to give me IV's. Only puked for 5 months with Lily. Then I managed to gain 77 pounds in four months. Dude.)
Those Mormons--because EVeryone knows that there is ABSOLUTELY NO difference between Mormons and Fundamentalist Mormons--are raised to be superfreakykillers. Published by Fox News. Who we all know is run by the Evangelical Mafia. And we all know how Evangelicals feel about Mormons. And don't get me started on the Mormons who think we're basically the *same* as the Evangelicals. (My students can attest to this.)
And this one is just so awesome that that's all I'm going to say.
Oh, and she also wants me to put up a "hotter" picture of her. yeah. OK.
(We were in Texas. It's HOT in Texas. Even at Christmas. My mom used to crank up the air conditioner on Christmas Eve so we could have a fire. And even then we only let it burn like 20 minutes. BTW, she's the youngest. And is it just me or is that Santa really creepy?!)
1) go out to dinner with you
2) clean your house
3) babysit your children
4) go on a "girl" date (like, to get pedicures or something)
5) write you poetry
6) something else that you think of and she says is OK.
Anyone want to start the bidding? Do it in the comments section. Heck, I'll start the bidding, myself. $10. Probably for babysitting. I might change my mind...
(sorry kick, but if you don't want me to post pictures like that, you shouldn't put them on facebook!!)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Sam: "It's not a drawing. It's a warning."
Husband: "Really? What does it say?"
Sam: "It says, 'beware the moon. the full moon is the sacrifice moon.'"
And the thing is, those were all links I found through google ADS, so I know they're paying you to find the right home.
This is your last warning before I take your ad aWAY.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Says Sam: "But Mommy, can't you tell them?" [he looked distressed AND sincere as he said this] "They don't need to have their *own* babies."
Me: "Why not?"
Sam: "Because, Mommy. Instead of them having their own babies, we can just give them *Lily.*"
(sorry, that's the biggest Mahana picture google could find!)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Also, if anyone feels like shelling out $50 to these people, I sure would like to see if you really can build a wind/solar system for less than $200 and even hook it up to the grid so the power company can pay you. (I just don't particularly feel like gambling $250 that I'll be able to do it. Dad? What about you? You're kinda freakishly good at stuff like that.)
BTW, here's a purty windmill picture I found in the (copyright free!) Wikimedia database. I used it in my tshirt designing frenzy. (Everything is starting to look like a possible tshirt design to me now. I've GOT to stop this cafepress addiction! I've already built THREE stores! Aaahgh!)
Oh, but if you do want me to make gazillions, buy a windmill watching T-shirt! (Actually, all I'm really hoping for is to make enough to buy myself one... Cafepress is a bad addiction.)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
paint themselves with self-tanner in STRIPES!
Dress up like Miss Provo. (Isn't she pretty? She really is another beauty queen, it turns out.)
bring massive quantities of food.
Sing songs with a mouth FULL of marshmallows.
You can't completely appreciate the hilarity of this one, but he went outside (with the ties around his head) and did a "Crazy Chicken Dance" while we all watched from the window. All the people on the grass were staring at him, like, WTH?! Could be my personal favorite of all time.