Tuesday, June 30, 2009

David the research assistant says

that one of this book-reading prizes is that I have to talk about how amazingly awesome his blog is.

Here's his blog.

It's amazing. and awesome. amazingly awesome.

xo davie.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Things it's better not to count when you're in Wales

1) the $'s you just spent because the exchange rate spiked.
2) the number of carbs you just consumed.
3) the extra $'s you spent because your taxi driver could tell you had NO IDEA what you were doing.
4) the number of times you think, "OMG what is that smell?!"
5) the number of times you think, "OMG what happened to that dog's FACE?!"
6) the number of times you curse yourself for trying to pack light. (Note to self: underwear is NOT THAT HEAVY. And even though you think you'll be able to wash them in the sink, the truth is, you won't be able to do that very well. This is how you will end up smelling all European. Next time: pack more underwear.)
7) how many pounds your "light" suitcase ways in spite of your lack-of-underwear drama.
8)the number of times you drank out of the sink that said "do not drink this water" not because you couldn't read the welsh sign but because you couldn't find any other water and you were really thirsty.
9) how many people stare at you because you're a gazillion feet taller than they are.
10) clouds.
11) also lambs.

Because ads can be amazingly entertaining

I put some ads at the bottom of the page not because I want to make a gazillion dollars (that would be nice, of course, but I think I've made a grand total of $0.27 off them, so I'm guessing it's not gonna happen) but because I thought it would be funny to see what google thinks of my blog. See, apparently, they have magic google-bots that troll your website for key phrases and then they use some schmancy algorithm to figure out what kind of person would read such a crazy page. All very illuminating, I assure you.

Today, I'm particularly amused by the plethora of "OMG I might have cancer!" ads, followed by a contextually funny "Mormon Singles" thing.

Especially because (confession) I was just searching Web MD because it's entertaining to have my computer make fun of me for being a hypochondriac. (And, just FYI, today the internet tells me that I don't have cancer, just jet lag. I mean, sheesh!)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

you know how the internet is supposed to make it easy to be a hypochondriac?

my internet won't let me.

me: "OMG, I have been throwing up for DAYS, I must have cancer."

internet: "No, it's the stomach flu."

me: "appendicitis?"

internet: "stomach flu."

me: "but my tongue has turned BLACK. BLACK!!"

internet: "you've been taking pepto bismol, haven't you."

me: "what?"

internet: "Pepto turns your tongue black."

me: "well explain to me why the lymph nodes in my legs hurt so bad."

internet: "does your back hurt?"

me: "um..."

internet: "it's not your lymph nodes, it's your back. take some advil and go to yoga more often."

me: "I DO GO TO YOGA."

internet: "but you've been so busy this month you haven't gone much, right?"

me: "um..."

internet: "and that's when those 'lymph nodes' started hurting, right?"

me: "um..."

internet: "Y.O.G.A. (and advil.)"

me: "okay, well explain to me why there's this numb spot on my shoulder blade. I must at least have some sort of neuro degeneration?"

internet: "is the spot about an inch long and about two inches from the bottom of your shoulder blade?"

me: "how did you know that?!"

internet: "your bra is too tight. get a new one."

me: "that costs money."

internet: "I can help you get another job, you know. That might be a better use of my time anyway."

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Pictures for Margie

Apparently my whole computer is just full of Gremlins because I couldn't get these to attach to an email. So I thought I'd just post them instead.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Geez. So much for diversity.

I was just compiling some demographic data for my book study--looking at the ages, races, genders, religions, etc. of those of you who were so lovely as to read for me (by the way, all the cupcakes should have been delivered by now and if they weren't, it was probably an address problem. email me!).

Here's some info:

Average age of readers: 30.9
Average number of children: 2.79
Total percentage of readers who were Caucasian: 97%
Total percentage of readers who were Mormons: 83%
From one of the Western states: more than 90%

Just by comparison, I am a 30 year old Caucasian Mormon with 2 children living in Utah. Yeah. I feel a little cliche now.

Morning Conversation

Sam: "Did you know that Cocoa [my sister's ex-roommate's ewok puppy] is the girl of my dreams?"

me: "Really?"

Sam: "Yeah. Because you're supposed to have a girl of your dreams."

me: "Oh, I see."

Sam: "But I also have some human girls of my dreams."

me: "Really? More than one? Who?"

Sam: "I have two of them: Hailey and Cassie. Totally crazy, right?"

me: "Well, either super crazy or super Mormon. One of those."

Sam: [considers this] "Well, probably super crazy AND super Mormon."

me: "Oh?"

Sam: "Yes. See, Hailey is super crazy and Cassie is Mormon." [shrug]

Sunday, June 14, 2009

You know you've always wanted your own Ewok

This super cute puppy (and by puppy, I mean 8-year old lady) needs someone to live with. She's prettymuch the best puppy on the planet. She's

1) spayed
2) trained
3) adorable
4) not a biter or chewer
5) extremely tolerant of small children
6) sort of lazy (i.e. you won't need to walk her much)

plus she doesn't eat very much.

she doesn't do terribly well outside, so the perfect home for her would be someone who just wants an adorable Ewok to sit on their lap all day and watch TV with them. (seriously; she just wants to sit there. preferably on your lap because she's a cuddler. but as long as there are people around, she's clam happy.) Perfect puppy for elderly folks who just want a low-maintenance companion or a family who want a super-obedient, non-violent, non-crazy puppy to hang out with.

either comment or send me an email (kerryspencer[at]byu[dot]edu) if you're interested and we can find the cutie somewhere to live!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Prize time!

So, i totally didn't think that anyone would read more books than my mom, so I didn't really think of a good prize and I've been completely un-creative when it comes to thinking of prizes. But here's what I gave David for his second place finish:

1) a Windmill Watching T-shirt
2) David's FAVORITE book from the sample

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Missing the book reports desperately?

I decided to start putting them on their own blog. So, you know, we can get back to, like, *me.*

And we're moving beyond the book sample now, so if there's a book you really want to mouth off about, send in a report!



Thursday, June 04, 2009

A few of my faves

Of the last 200 books I've read, some books I loved more than others. Here are a few of my raves (alphabetical order):

betrayed: house of night
chosen: house of night
Dead connection
Hallowmere: In the Serpent's Coils
I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girls)
Kiss me, Kill me
**Maggie Quinn Girl Versus Evil: Prom Dates from Hell
**Marked: house of night
**Red Glass
The patron saint of butterflies
the Princess and the Hound
The Strongbow Saga Book #1: Viking Warrior
The Very Ordered Existence of Merilee Marvelous
Wicked Lovely

** = top three

(there are links on the sidebar to all these; I'm feeling too lazy right now to do the linkedy-link thing in the post)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

And in finishing this book... I am DONE!

Maybe I'll read a few more YA books in a few months. We'll have to see.

More stuff David said (cuz he was funny today)

David: "Gah! Facebook is ruining my life!"

me: "Why?"

David: "Because I am just too POPULAR! I'm going to spend my whole life writing on people's walls!"

me: "Sounds terrible."

David: "I know! Facebook sent me this mean letter saying they were going to ban me for 'inappropriate use' because I've been adding too many friends. They think I'm a spambot."

me: "Whoa."

David: "It is JUST SO HARD being so LIKED!"

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Why we didn't have power last night

(FYI: not our car. About ten feet away from our house, though. David heard it happen. We think they were swerving to miss a peacock.)

This book

made me feel kinda like going and shooting things in the woods with a bow and arrows.

guest book report from David.

Guest Book Report!

Author's Voice: "Loquacious (Wordly Wise Word!)" [page 16]. Plot: Vexatious

from my mom.

Monday, June 01, 2009

I want this one

Yesterday at church

we had a lesson on food storage. They gave us a list of everything we needed. Here is an excerpt:

16 cases hard red wheat
8 cases white rice
8 cases pinto beans
8 cases macaroni
1 goat (if needed)

(I tried to take a picture, but it was too fuzzy.)

This book

was 1000x better than I thought it would be. And made me hate the fact that I suck at soccer.

guest book report from David.

This book

has a horse. And a girl. And a cougar. And was just as bad as the other book 6 I read.

guest book report from David.

This book

got read so fast that I was outwardly sad when it was ended. Because it was too soon for how much I loved it.

guest book report from David.

This book

had So. Much. Blood. And kind of made me want to be a creepy psycho-killer.

guest book report from David

Guest Book Report!

from my mom
This book: Was disjointed.
The lesson: Be green, eat vegetables and be nice (or the plants will get you).

Guest Book Report!

from Barb.

this bookwas like Harry Potter on a crack binge--five times shorter and twice as scary.