Unfortunately, the we just found the fish in this state:
Question:
Do we
1) go and get an identical fish from Wal Mart (not hard) and not tell him about it?
2) use this as an opportunity to teach him about death?
What do you think?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The dead fish poll
My three year old (Sam) just got a pet fish and he named him "Sam the Fish."
Unfortunately, the we just found the fish in this state:
Question:
Do we
1) go and get an identical fish from Wal Mart (not hard) and not tell him about it?
2) use this as an opportunity to teach him about death?
What do you think?
Unfortunately, the we just found the fish in this state:
Question:
Do we
1) go and get an identical fish from Wal Mart (not hard) and not tell him about it?
2) use this as an opportunity to teach him about death?
What do you think?
Saturday, February 09, 2008
I thought of the best assignment, like, ever
and I'm loving the papers I'm getting.
Assignment: Argument paper
Topic: Sell me the lamest thing you can think of on ebay. Convince me to buy it. Whoever makes the most money gets extra credit.
Check out one of the auctions here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&&item=160207036397&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1120
Assignment: Argument paper
Topic: Sell me the lamest thing you can think of on ebay. Convince me to buy it. Whoever makes the most money gets extra credit.
Check out one of the auctions here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&&item=160207036397&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1120
Friday, February 08, 2008
Unsympathetic my FRIGGN A&&
Why is it that every single time people find things about my characters that are unsympathetic they are INVARIABLY things that my characters have in common with *me*?
*says "friggin" too much
*gets annoyed with people who are too "nice."
*too sarcastic to be likable
*talks like a dumb blonde when she's really pretty smart
*just too good looking to be true
haha. I made that last one up. No one seems to mind when I make my characters as good looking as I am. ;-)
*says "friggin" too much
*gets annoyed with people who are too "nice."
*too sarcastic to be likable
*talks like a dumb blonde when she's really pretty smart
*just too good looking to be true
haha. I made that last one up. No one seems to mind when I make my characters as good looking as I am. ;-)
Monday, February 04, 2008
Are there any Statisticians who read this blog and can friggin explain this to me?!
I've been sitting in on a Stats 221 class. Most of it is just new terminology for stuff I already knew. But today's lecture blew my mind a bit.
It has to do with probability. We played the game that you can find on this website.
I think I sort of understand. But when I tried to explain the reasons that I thought I understood to the professor, he said I was "prettymuch *mostly* right." But not *totally* right?! And he never really bothered to explain the real reason.
So if you can explain this to me, I will send you a virtual kiss.
Ow. My brain hurts.
It has to do with probability. We played the game that you can find on this website.
I think I sort of understand. But when I tried to explain the reasons that I thought I understood to the professor, he said I was "prettymuch *mostly* right." But not *totally* right?! And he never really bothered to explain the real reason.
So if you can explain this to me, I will send you a virtual kiss.
Ow. My brain hurts.
Postmodern Primary
Sam started primary (or as he calls it, "kid church") in January. He's not quite used to going yet, so I've been going with him. Thoroughly enjoyable, BTW.
Yesterday:
primary leader: "If Jesus were here, what would you want to ask him?"
boy 1: "How can you kill people with just a slingshot?"
boy 2: "What's it like to not have a single gun?"
boy 3: "And do you really make swords by yourself? And they *work*?"
Then a boy got up to give his testimony. "I know," he says, "That Gordon B. Hinkley" [pause; this is normally where he would have said, "is a prophet"][deep breath] "is dead." [pause again.] "And I know that Heavenly Father" [pause] "is also dead." [pause] "for me." [I think he meant to say that Jesus died for me, but, yanno, whatever.]
Violence and the death of God.
Nietzsche would be proud.
Yesterday:
primary leader: "If Jesus were here, what would you want to ask him?"
boy 1: "How can you kill people with just a slingshot?"
boy 2: "What's it like to not have a single gun?"
boy 3: "And do you really make swords by yourself? And they *work*?"
Then a boy got up to give his testimony. "I know," he says, "That Gordon B. Hinkley" [pause; this is normally where he would have said, "is a prophet"][deep breath] "is dead." [pause again.] "And I know that Heavenly Father" [pause] "is also dead." [pause] "for me." [I think he meant to say that Jesus died for me, but, yanno, whatever.]
Violence and the death of God.
Nietzsche would be proud.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sometimes God answers prayers in not-so-subtle ways
About six years ago I was sitting in Relief Society at church and I was just *done* with it. The lady talking had the most annoying high-pitched Relief Society voice you can imagine and she was saying all sorts of horrible judgemental things designed to make me feel as guilty as possible. I tried staring at the chandelier, tried using my wedding ring as a reflective surface to see what I could see behind me, tried even saying the alphabet to myself. But when it came time for the closing prayer, all distraction-techniques failed me and I had to listen. Oh, horror. The lady giving the prayer was quite possibly the most self-righteous person on the planet and the Rameumpton-like speech she gave in her self-important low-toned voice put me over the edge.
I plugged my ears. Decided I would say my own prayer. And--through my gritted teeth and rage-tears--decided that I would give God an ultimatum.
"God," I said. (Saying God instead of Heavenly Father was sorta part of the ultimatum, I think. I felt like it just barely borded on blasphemy.) "You have approximately 60 seconds to give me a *&^%$# good reason not to just turn my back on all of these mean old b*&^%es because I swear, I will *leave* this church."
When everyone else got up, I did, too. And we all filed directly into Sacrament Meeting. I found my husband, sat down next to him. Noted that God's 60 seconds were just about up and contemplated leaving immediately instead of having to sit through sacrament meeting.
But just then, Gordon B. Hinckley walked through the front door.
Now, the prophet casually strolling into Sacrament Meeting is sort of akin to the Pope just happening to stop by your neighborhood parish: shocking. It does. not. happen. Steve and I gave each other the WTH? look.
Of course, they asked him to say something to us. (Poor Gordon never got to just *go* to sacrament meeting, I bet.) He hobbled up to the podium, surveyed us all and said with an atypical frown, "Now, I know a lot of you. And you know what I know about you? You're kind of mean. You're kind of self-righteous. For heaven's sake, you need to learn how to be a litte kinder. A little more like Christ. Try treating everyone like a neighbor for once."
I think I might have started an all out weep-fest.
"That'll work, God," I said.
Thanks, Gordon, for being a prophet I was so proud of.
(Gordon B. Hinckley: 1910-2008)
I plugged my ears. Decided I would say my own prayer. And--through my gritted teeth and rage-tears--decided that I would give God an ultimatum.
"God," I said. (Saying God instead of Heavenly Father was sorta part of the ultimatum, I think. I felt like it just barely borded on blasphemy.) "You have approximately 60 seconds to give me a *&^%$# good reason not to just turn my back on all of these mean old b*&^%es because I swear, I will *leave* this church."
When everyone else got up, I did, too. And we all filed directly into Sacrament Meeting. I found my husband, sat down next to him. Noted that God's 60 seconds were just about up and contemplated leaving immediately instead of having to sit through sacrament meeting.
But just then, Gordon B. Hinckley walked through the front door.
Now, the prophet casually strolling into Sacrament Meeting is sort of akin to the Pope just happening to stop by your neighborhood parish: shocking. It does. not. happen. Steve and I gave each other the WTH? look.
Of course, they asked him to say something to us. (Poor Gordon never got to just *go* to sacrament meeting, I bet.) He hobbled up to the podium, surveyed us all and said with an atypical frown, "Now, I know a lot of you. And you know what I know about you? You're kind of mean. You're kind of self-righteous. For heaven's sake, you need to learn how to be a litte kinder. A little more like Christ. Try treating everyone like a neighbor for once."
I think I might have started an all out weep-fest.
"That'll work, God," I said.
Thanks, Gordon, for being a prophet I was so proud of.
(Gordon B. Hinckley: 1910-2008)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
The most important question you should consider when deciding who to vote for is:
who's got the best hair?
things that are a bad idea
1) licking your toenail clippers
2) drinking unpasteurized milk
3) going to teach a class when you are so full of rage that you can't stop yourself from ranting about stuff that has almost nothing to do with writing for a full 30 minutes of the 50 minute class managing to prettymuch shock the bejeebies out of your poor wide-eyed idealistic students, who are only 18 afterall and don't really need to hear about the varying degrees of hate rhetoric among religious groups, the inanity of being afraid of plastic, the logical problems associated with axiomatic thinking and atheism, pagan god pantheons as they relate to vampirism and transubstantiaion, or the horrors of breastfeeding in a puritanistic culture that finds such behaviors perverted.
sigh.
poor students.
2) drinking unpasteurized milk
3) going to teach a class when you are so full of rage that you can't stop yourself from ranting about stuff that has almost nothing to do with writing for a full 30 minutes of the 50 minute class managing to prettymuch shock the bejeebies out of your poor wide-eyed idealistic students, who are only 18 afterall and don't really need to hear about the varying degrees of hate rhetoric among religious groups, the inanity of being afraid of plastic, the logical problems associated with axiomatic thinking and atheism, pagan god pantheons as they relate to vampirism and transubstantiaion, or the horrors of breastfeeding in a puritanistic culture that finds such behaviors perverted.
sigh.
poor students.
Serious jitters going on
my hands are shaking like crazy.
here's why: this morning I grabbed some cold medicine off the counter and took it and then left to drive to work. Halfway through the drive, I started feeling really, really, really sleepy. So I panicked because did I accidentally take night time cold medicine? It seemed very likely. So I got off the freeway and went to Sonic to get the biggest hugest caffenated drink they had so that I could drive to work without crashing the car. I also took a dose of Excedrin.
Well, I made it to work and called my husband. The cold medicine was not night time afterall. I was just sleepy because my almost-two-year old still won't sleep through the night.
But all that caffeine!
Not my best morning ever, people.
here's why: this morning I grabbed some cold medicine off the counter and took it and then left to drive to work. Halfway through the drive, I started feeling really, really, really sleepy. So I panicked because did I accidentally take night time cold medicine? It seemed very likely. So I got off the freeway and went to Sonic to get the biggest hugest caffenated drink they had so that I could drive to work without crashing the car. I also took a dose of Excedrin.
Well, I made it to work and called my husband. The cold medicine was not night time afterall. I was just sleepy because my almost-two-year old still won't sleep through the night.
But all that caffeine!
Not my best morning ever, people.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Miracles on Earth
Steve just informed me that Huckabee did *not* win South Carolina.
Way to go South Carolina. Way. to. go.
Way to go South Carolina. Way. to. go.
All I did was carve a clay form, get a blowtorch, and melt down a hunk of gold into the predetermined lines of the form. It's not like it was *hard.*
My bff friggin *made* this for me.
I'm in awe.
I'm in awe.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
happy birthday to me!
Here were the first words I ever heard: (the doctor recited them as I was being born)
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
ps: many thanks to my delightful husband for making my birthday rock!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Kristin came up with a deeply good reason to vote for Huckabee
"Um but Kerry!!" she says, "Huckabee has Chuck Norris' Support... don't you know that Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down. And he's not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. And there's no such thing as evolution, only the animals Chuck Norris allows to live. And it's not a chin behind Chuck Norris' beard , it's another fist. Don't you get it Kerry, if Chuck Norris Supports Huckabee you should too!"
I stand corrected.
I stand corrected.
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